


Just a Teenage Dirtbag

by SillyOldBear94



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-04
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2018-03-10 12:57:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 27,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3291125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SillyOldBear94/pseuds/SillyOldBear94
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Belle French was extremely comfortable at Storybrooke High. She had great friends, great grades, and was totally clear on her path to the future. Then one day she bumped into troubled Adam Gold, and things became a little more confusing. Non Magic AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Welcome to My LIfe

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Once or any of the characters. Only in my dreams.

The bell rang loudly and shrilly through the halls of Storybrooke High, signaling fifth period, and lunchtime for most of the upperclassman. A chestnut haired girl, dressed in a maroon skirt and a crème sweater, moved quickly through the students, stopping only to throw her books in her locker and to grab her bagged lunch. Her locker was decorated with quotes from her favorite novels, and a few pictures of her and her friends, but the girl barely spared it a glance as she hurriedly caught a few falling papers and shoved them back inside before slamming it shut. Belle French made her way to the cafeteria with expert precision, cerulean eyes scanning the crowd of students as she went. Suddenly she felt a long nailed hand grab her arm,

“Jesus, what’s the rush? We’ve sat at the same table for the past two years, I don’t think anyone is going to overthrow us for it now!” exclaimed Ruby Lucas, smiling as she attempted to keep up with her friend. It wasn’t exactly hard given she had a good foot on Belle, and her black leather covered legs were much longer, but she had always had a flair for the dramatic.

“Mary Margaret said she had news, and she sounded excited, so it must be important!” Belle answered her friend as they entered the cafeteria and headed toward their usual table. Mary Margret was already seated, and was carefully unpacking her neatly made lunch when the two other girls approached and sat down. The three had been best friends since elementary school, having grown up in their small town together. Although they had different interests, Belle loved her books, Ruby was a fashion and pop culture obsessive, and Mary Margret was passionate about animal rights and cheerleading, they remained as close as ever because their friendship stretched so far back. They knew each other better then anyone, and they refused to believe anything could separate them.

“You have to tell us what’s going on,” Belle said, smiling as she sat down and began unpacking her sandwich, “I’ve been dying ever since I got your text this morning!”

“Hold your horses!” laughed Mary Margret, brushing a stray piece of raven colored hair from her face, “We have to wait for Emma. I want to tell all of you at once!”

Emma had joined their group two years ago, at the start of high school. She had moved to Storybrooke with her adoptive parents, and quickly befriended the kind trio of girls. Her cleverness and wry sense of humor made her a welcome addition to the group, and soon they couldn’t remember life without her in their group. Less then a minute after Mary Margret finished speaking, the blonde herself appeared with a tray of food.

“Hey, I’m here! You said something about big news, Mary Margret?” Emma asked, setting her tray down and sitting next to Ruby.

“Yeah, please give us the reveal, or I think we’ll all go crazy.” Ruby said with a smirk, taking a large bite out of her sandwich.

“Alright, here it is” grinned Mary Margret, smoothing the skirt of her cheerleading uniform before looking at them all, “I won class president!”

“OH MY GOD!”

“YES! YOU DID IT? CONGRATS!”

“THAT”S AMAZING!”

The girls cries could be heard over the normal din of the cafeteria, carrying throughout the room. Belle hugged Mary Margret tightly.

“I’m so happy for you, you deserve this” she told her friend sincerely. Ruby reached across the table for Mary Margret’s hands.

“I agree! I knew you could do this!” she exclaimed, giving her friend’s hand a squeeze.

“Thanks guys, you’re the best! I mean it, your support means everything, and now I finally have a chance to make a difference at this school.” Mary Margret said, looking between her three closest friends.

“This is great new, I’m so happy for you Mary Margret,” Emma said with a genuine smile at her friend “But what about.. you know who?”

“You mean Regina?” asked Ruby, “It’s about time the Queen Bitch got overthrown.”

“You won fair and square, you shouldn’t be afraid of her,” Belle pointed out.

“Oh I’m not.” Mary Margret answered, “She’s still the cheer captain, so I have to deal with her, but I’m going to act normally. I’ll respect her if she respects me.”

“Very mature of you” Belle said with a nod of her head.

“Yeah but do you think she’ll treat you with the same respect? I don’t think she’ll take getting ousted as calmly as you think. She may still be head cheerleader but now she only controls that one group. I don’t think she’ll take that lying down.” Emma said, stabbing a stray carrot on her plate with more force then necessary, as if it was the queen bee’s head.

“I can handle her, don’t you worry” Mary Margret stated confidently.

“Oh you can?” a new voice said. The girls looked up and saw Regina Mills standing over them, her cheerleading uniform impeccably clean, and her dark hair tied in a high ponytail. She allowed her dark eyes to pass over each girl before lingering on Mary Margret.

“I need you to be at practice early. The mats need to be rolled out, and the other girls have too much to do, you’ll be fine doing it by yourself right? You wouldn’t want to be seen as not a team player.” Regina said menacingly, leaning forward with her hands on the edge of the table.

“I think I can manage that” Mary Margret responded, meeting the taller girl’s gaze. Regina straightened, crossing her arms before declaring,

“Fine, see you at three.” And with that she turned on her heel and strode away. The girls left at the table shared worrying glances.

“What was that about her not being angry or bitter?” Ruby asked, warily watching Regina walk back towards another gaggle of cheerleaders.

“I won’t let her get to me.” Mary Margret stated, “If she wants to try to force me off the team, she’s going to have to try better then that.”

With that the short haired cheerleader stood up and collected the trash from her meal, throwing it in the trash can near the exit, and departing the cafeteria.

“Well, lunch is almost over anyway. I’ll see where she went off to, I have next period with her anyway.” Emma said with a sigh, clearing her tray. Ruby followed her, leaving Belle to pack up the rest of her half eaten apple slices.

Regina could be a force to be reckoned with, and Belle knew that Mary Margret should be wary. She remembered the time back in middle school when Regina had mocked her on the bus, calling Belle “Reading Girl” because she preferred to read on the bus instead of interacting with the shouting classmates that shared her route. The name had stuck all the way through eighth grade, Regina’s influence causing it to spread throughout the whole school. Now that she was almost an adult, Belle didn’t let the childish antics from middle school bother her much anymore, she was fairly popular now, and a friend to many. However she worried for Mary Margret because she knew that Regina’s power had only grown stronger in high school, making her queen of the rumor mill.

Belle was so absorbed in her thoughts that she failed to notice that she was about to run in to another person on her way out the door. Suddenly she felt her body collide with another, stronger body, almost knocking her to the ground. She sensed leather clad arms around her, and looked up to meet dark brown eyes framed by long, wavy hair. She had just run in to Adam Gold, and she was still standing in his arms, gawking at him.

Belle quickly pulled away, her eyes going wide.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean… I didn’t see you, I-“

“It’s fine” he answered, his voice deep and with the hint of an old accent, “I didn’t see you either. It takes two people to run into each other you know.”

“Right. Well… I best be going, I have… class” Belle stuttered, attempting to smile as she backed away. Adam chuckled,

“Alright then. Nice running into you,” he said with a smirk.


	2. My Own Worst Enemy

Adam Gold didn’t have to weave amongst people to get through the busy hallway, they moved for him. He casually made his way past the rows of identical lockers, and exited through one of the school’s side doors at the end of the hallway. Once outside he removed a battered cigarette pack from the pocket of his ever-present leather jacket, and lit up. He leaned against the old brick of the school and closed his eyes as he let the familiar nicotine sooth him. He had just propped one denim-covered leg against the wall, his combat boot digging in to the brick, when he heard movement in the hallway behind him. The sound of the door opening beside him ruined his peaceful moment. He lazily opened his eyes,

“What do you want, dearie?”

“Don’t call me that, it’s weird,” Regina snapped, stepping into the crisp autumn air. She wrapped her bare arms around herself.           

“So I heard a rumor today… it seems you didn’t have quite as tight a grip on your power as you thought,” Gold said, a cocky grin beginning to spread across his face. The cheerleader grimaced at him, her upper lip curling in a snarl.

“It’s a temporary situation. I still have more influence over this school then they realize.”

Regina reached out and plucked the cigarette from his hand, taking a drag. He frowned as he watched her, declining to take it back when she offered. She flicked the butt away as he stood up from against the wall.

“I thought you were trying to quit,” he stated idly, not really caring about her answer either way.

“I only do it when I’m stressed,” she responded shortly, “Besides, you know my poison of choice.”

“Indeed I do, speaking of which, will you be picking up on Friday?”

“Of course”

Gold nodded slowly

“It’s the usual price. I’ll see you at the spot.”

As he reentered the school, he made his way towards the gymnasium. He passed by the locker room, and went right into the gym, heading for the bleachers. The gym teacher had long given up on trying to get him to change for class. He sat down and leaned back on the long benches, surveying the other students as they entered from the locker rooms. The freckle-faced kid owed him money, and he’d have to see if that tall girl in the corner wanted another dose. So many clients, so little time. His dark eyes continued to roam the growing crowd of students, until one brown haired figure caught his eye. Ah yes, there she was.

Belle French. He hadn’t had a class with her until gym this year, and he was… intrigued to say the least. On the first day of class she was chosen as a captain for dodgeball, and he had looked on from the bleachers with curiosity as she chose the least athletic looking kid in the class first. She had filled her team with tall lanky kids, small, awkward looking girls, kids with glasses, and a couple of muscular jocks. He had never seen another student at this god-forsaken school be so inviting and accepting of her other peers. He had never actually spoken to her until today, when she had bumped into him in the cafeteria. The way she stuttered and acted so nervously around him confirmed his thoughts. She was too pure for someone like him; it was best to admire her lovely form from a distance.

The sound of her laughter pulled him from his thoughts, and he looked across the gym to see her doubled over and smiling at something her tall, skinny, longhaired friend said. She wore the standard gym uniform of a t-shirt and shorts, which showed off her pale legs. She was sporting a pair of tall, striped socks that stretched up from her spotless sneakers. Then the shorthaired, pixie looking girl came over and unknowingly blocked his view. Clenching his jaw, he brushed his shoulder length hair out of his face, and casually turned his head and surveyed the rest of the gym. Two figures approached him,

“You checking out the merchandise, Gold?” a tall, jersey wearing figure asked.

 _How barbaric_ , he thought to himself. He didn’t particularly like Gaston or his slightly smaller friend Whale. Both were players on the varsity football team, Gaston being a linebacker because of his size and Whale the first-string kicker. In Gold’s mind they were utter morons, but business was business.

“No Gaston, ‘I’m not checking out the merchandise’. Unlike you my mind is able to focus on more than my baser instincts” Gold answered snidely, looking away from the football players.

“You sure about that? Because I could have sworn I caught you checking out our girls.”

“Please,” Gold scoffed, playing nonchalant, “I don’t know who “your girls” are and I don’t care to know. There’s no one worth my time in this town anyway.”

“You’re making fun of us now?” Whale accused, stepping forward.

“You’re just jealous because no girl would go for a scumbag like you” Gaston sneered. Gold answered with a sneer of his own, remaining seated in the face of the two brutes.

“I assume if you’re insulting me, that you’ve finally kicked your weed habit?” he questioned, dark eyes flashing. The two larger boys paled.

“Hey man, don’t take it like that.”

“We were just being protective of our girls, that’s all!”

Gold smirked at their groveling. Suddenly David Nolan came jogging over. The blonde haired, blue eyed, all-American quarterback approached the group and cautiously looked between them.

“Everything cool over here?”

Gold rolled his eyes. _Always the peacemaker_ , he thought. Of all the football players, he supposed he hated David the least. They had a mutual understanding, and David had always been less of a jerk to people in general.

“Everything is fine” Gold said with a menacing smile “In fact, I was just leaving. I have some business to attend to.”

He stood, glancing between the three football players as if asking them to challenge him. None of them did. He grinned as he stepped of the bleachers, his heavy combat boots echoing through the large room. Gym was a waste of time anyway.

* * *

Belle was discussing their latest history project with Mary Margret when she suddenly felt arms wrap around her from behind.

“Gaston please, we’re in school!” she said, giving him a smile while trying to squirm out of his embrace.

“You know I just can’t help myself sometimes” he responded with a sly grin. Ruby was giggling as Whale kissed her on the cheek and Mary Margret was discussing something with David, their hands clasped together between them. Suddenly Mary Margret looked at all of them.

“What were you doing talking to Adam Gold” she questioned, quirking an eyebrow. David looked at his fellow teammates, who both looked away.

“We just had… a science question. We’re in the same class.”

“Right.” Mary Margret responded, rolling her eyes.

“Well be careful, the Coach might think you’re going to him for another reason. You don’t want to risk being kicked off the team, do you?” Ruby said to all three of the players.

Belle remained quiet, silently contemplating her earlier encounter with Adam Gold. She had never talked to him before; she’d only seen him loitering in hallways and quietly talking to random students outside near the sports fields. People were afraid of him. But after her brief encounter with him, when he seemed so polite to her, she wondered why that was.

The shrill sound of the gym teacher’s whistle focused Belle’s attention. She and her friends followed their boyfriends to the center on of the gym. Belle glanced back at the bleachers but they were empty. She’d have to contemplate Adam Gold another time.


	3. She's So High

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Thank you so much for your reviews, they mean a lot! Also, if anyone was curious about the chapter titles, they're all popular "high school" songs from the late 90's and early 00's era.

Belle walked into her Honors English class early on Monday morning. Being one of the first few students in the room, she sat in her usual seat and carefully set out her notebook and pencils. Just then Mary Margret walked in and sat beside Belle.

"How was your weekend? I'm sorry we couldn't get together at all, but Regina has me going crazy with extra practices." Mary Margret said with a sigh. Belle smiled sympathetically at her friend,

"I'm sorry about that! And you really didn't miss much. Emma and I had a movie marathon, but we didn't see much of Ruby either, she was working the whole weekend."

"You didn't see Gaston at all?"

"No… he was busy too."

It wasn't a complete lie; Belle knew he had double football practice on Saturday. However, Belle hadn't been making such an effort to see him outside of school in the recent weeks. She wasn't exactly sure when it started, but lately everything he said and did seemed to put her on edge or annoy her. Hanging out with her girlfriends was much more fun. A moment later, their teacher entered the classroom, saving Belle from having to explain her boyfriend troubles any further.

After a long lecture on Hamlet, the bell rang singling the end of the period. Belle stood and straightened her plaid skirt, carefully packing her belongings in her leather bookbag. As she moved to the door with Mary Margret, Ms. Anderson called her back.

"Belle," her teacher said, smiling at the student in question as she approached the front desk "I was wondering if you would do me a favor."

"Of course," Belle answered with a smile. This wasn't the first time she had helped a teacher with grading papers or other work.

"I'd like you to tutor one of my senior English students. He's in one of my lower level classes, and he's not reaching his potential. I know that he's a bright kid, but he can't seem to be bothered with the regular classroom setting. I think some individual attention will be helpful. Seeing as you're one of my brightest students, I thought you'd be up for the challenge."

"Oh, yeah sure" Belle replied, flattered that she would be asked to tutor a student who was older then she was. She was confident in her abilities, though. If anyone could make a person fall in love with literature, it was Belle. Ms. Anderson smiled as she rummaged through her briefcase for the syllabus Belle would need,

"Wonderful news! The student's name is Adam Gold."

Belle's eyes widened and she held her breath. It seemed Adam Gold had once again crashed into her life. The boy who didn't seem to care about his reputation, yet cultivated such a fearful one, intrigued her. No one ever risked talking about him, even if he wasn't around. All Belle knew about him was his certain "business", and that he had quite the temper if crossed. The task her teacher had presented her with suddenly seemed much more daunting. And yet… Belle had only interacted with the boy once, and he didn't seem that bad. Maybe this was just the kind of challenge she needed: something, or someone, to distract her from her boring routine. Yes, Belle could handle this, she could be brave and make a difference.

Ms. Anderson hesitated when she noticed the look on Belle's face. The girl seemed uncertain with her answer.

"Belle, if you're not comfortable with it, you don't have to say yes."

"I'll do it," Belle said with a firm nod of her head, her brown curls bouncing, "I've always been a fan of challenges. I can help him, I know I can."

Her teacher smiled and handed her the syllabus with a list of reading materials.

"Alright then, thank you Belle! Please let me know if you have any trouble."

"I will," Belle said, placing the papers in a folder. She politely said goodbye to Ms. Anderson before exiting the classroom on her way to her next class. She was halfway to her math lesson before she realized she hadn't been given any of Adam Gold's contact info, and they hadn't planned on a place where the tutoring lessons could be held. Damn Belle thought, it seemed she'd have to track Gold down herself if she wanted to get these lessons on the road.

* * *

 

Regina stood in front of the mirror with her lips pursed, carefully reapplying her lipstick. The blood red color matched her nail polish perfectly. She capped the tube with a click when she heard the door to the girl's bathroom open.

"What do you want?" she asked while placing her lipstick back in her purse, without looking up at the figure who had come to stand next to her.

"You know Adam Gold, right?"

Regina looked up and narrowed her eyes at Belle. She removed a tissue from her purse and blotted her lips with it before answering.

"What's it to you?"

"Well, someone told me that you've been seen talking to him before, and I need his phone number."

"What would a bookworm like you need with Gold's phone number?" Regina scoffed, turning her attention back to her reflection in the mirror.

"That's my business." Belle said, refusing to be intimated by the cheer captain, "can you help me or not?"

"Well, forgive me for being surprised, but you don't exactly fit the stereotype of his typical customer," Regina responded "but sure, I guess I can give you his number."

Belle let out a sigh before taking out her phone and handing it to Regina.

"Thank you, Regina," she said as the dark haired girl typed the number into her phone.

"Please, you shouldn't be thanking me. I just set you on a road you can't come back from. Have fun with whatever he gives you. I hope it's worth it."

Belle thought about correcting her, but before she could explain that's not why she was contacting Gold, Regina handed her back her phone and walked out of the bathroom, her skirt swishing as she moved. Belle looked at the number on her screen. Six simple digits shouldn't seem so frightening and exciting.

Belle exited the bathroom and began to walk down the hall to her locker. She dug through her books and papers inside as she contemplated what to say in her first message. Should she be formal, or friendly? She was just a tutor after all, not a teacher, maybe she should begin with something casual, like 'hey'. Belle was so preoccupied with how to format her message that one of her books slid from her locker and landed next to her red heeled feet. She sighed but before she could bend down to retrieve it, another hand picked it up. It seemed she needn't have worried how to send the opening text after all, because the hand holding her book belonged to Gold himself. He held the text out to her, with one eyebrow arched.

"I believe you dropped this," he said with a crooked grin. Belle blushed and took it from him,

"Uh yes, thank you."

"So," he said, casually leaning against the locker next to her, "I heard you wanted to speak to me?"

Wow, word really does travel fast in this school thought Belle.

"Yes, I was going to text you but you're here now so I guess I don't have to…" Belle trailed off awkwardly, suddenly unsure what to say in his presence. Gold raised both eyebrows and looked at her expectantly,

"So… what's up?"

Words suddenly refused to come to Belle. Just like when she'd first bumped into him, she couldn't speak. Her blue eyes became transfixed with his deep, amber brown ones, a color that she had never seen on another person. The slam of a locker nearby caused her to realize she was staring too long.

"Oh um sorry. Right. Uh, Ms. Anderson asked me to be your new tutor."

Gold scoffed,

"Well, I wasn't asked if I wanted a tutor."

"It wasn't a matter of if you wanted one or not, apparently you need one, so here I am." Belle said firmly, feeling a surge of annoyance.

Gold stared at Belle with a questioning look on his face. Apparently he wasn't accustomed to being stood up to or argued with. Belle felt a surge of confidence.

"How about we meet in the library? Let's say 3 o'clock," she stated while flashing him a grin.

Gold stood silently for a moment while thinking it over. Something in his head seemed to make him soften to the subject, and he gave her a crooked grin before answering,

"Alright Miss French, I'll see you in the library. But I'm going to have to say 4 instead of 3."

"Why?"

"I have business to attend to, leave it at that."

"Fine, 4 o'clock"

"Fine"

"Fine"

They stared at each other for a moment.

"Well, I guess I'll see you then," Gold said cheekily, giving her a last once over before swinging around and blending easily into the crowd in the hallway.

Belle watched him walk off, a swagger in his step, and she couldn't help but feel more up to this challenge then ever. Adam Gold thought he was so scary, did he? Well, Belle had read enough books to know that cockiness always led to the villains downfall, and like all heroes, Belle herself would be triumphant.


	4. In Too Deep

Adam Gold stared through the large glass windows that separated the library from the school’s hallway. Belle French was already seated at one of the square tables in the front. She was flipping through a pile of papers, and Gold couldn’t help but be mesmerized by her concentration. A couple of football players were flicking a paper football around at the table next to her, and two girls were gossiping loudly as they stood near the short shelves behind the table, and all she did was absentmindedly brush a stray piece of chestnut hair from her face as she read. Fascinating. He walked through the double doors and made his way to where she was sitting. He dropped his bag loudly on top of the table, causing Belle to jump and look up from her papers wildly.

“Was that necessary?” she asked, both startled and annoyed. Gold grinned,

“Sorry about that, Teach. I’m here, let’s get started.”

“You’re 15 minutes late,” she stated disapprovingly.

“I had other matters to attend to.”

“Well this should be more important.”

“I’m here now, aren’t I?” he shrugged. Belle shook her head resignedly as she picked up the syllabus that their teacher had provided.

“Okay, so we have a lot to get through. We have a few Greek myths followed by Shakespeare just to catch you up, and then we have to move on to-“

“How about we forget the syllabus for a minute,” he said, reaching across the table to take the sheet of paper from her hands, “And talk about something more interesting.”

“You just got here! We have to stay on subject,” Belle chided.

“What’s your favorite book?”

Belle furrowed her eyebrows and watched him apprehensively.

“I said we have-“

“This is on subject!” he said, widening his eyes imploringly, “Books are what you read in English class. We’re here to study English, so I’m asking you about your personal favorite.”

“You’re trying to get around the assignment. It’s not going to work you know, I’m here to make sure you actually learn something.”

“How about we make a deal?”

“A deal?”

Gold watched her face carefully. Her blue eyes were narrowed in confusion, and her red lips were pursed, as if she was attempting to guess what kind of deal he was proposing.

“Yes. I’ll read five novels of your choosing, plus the stuff on the syllabus, if you spend at least 20 minutes telling me about yourself at the start of every session.”

There was a pause as the two students stared at each other from across the table.

“Why do you want to know about me?” Belle asked hesitantly.

Gold paused for a moment before answering. There was something about her that made her different from the rest of the kids at school, and he _had_ to know more about her. She was interesting, and he liked interesting things.

“Let’s just say I don’t come across a lot of genuine people. I figure if I have to spend extra time with you, I might as well get to know you a little bit.”

Belle carefully considered his words.

“Are you saying you don’t have many real frie-“

“So do you accept or not?” he asked, cutting her off, “A little talking in exchange for some reading?”

“You have a deal.”

“You sure?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“You have my word,” she responded, raising her chin and meeting his stare directly.

“Wonderful, it’s official,” Gold said. He grabbed her hand and gave it a curt shake. As he pulled his arm back, his brain admired the delicate features and softness of the skin he had just felt. He shook his head in order to clear his thoughts.

“So…” he said casually, looking directly at her with his large brown eyes, “What _is_ your favorite book?”

“ _Sense and Sensibility_ ”, she said without hesitation.

“Never heard of it.”

Belle openly gawked at him.

“Really?? _Sense and Sensibility_ , Jane Austen’s first published book?”

“She’s the one who wrote Pride and Prejudice, right?”

Belle sighed.

“Not only is it a literary classic, it’s one of my personal favorites for good reasons! You _have_ to read it. Come on, follow me!”

Gold watched her face light up when she spoke about the book. Her smile widened and her blue eyes gleamed with excitement. She also spoke more animatedly with her hands when she was excited, her well-manicured, pink fingernails flashing as she waved her hands in random gestures. It was cute, he thought, the way that she could get so excited about something so trivial.

“Well, aren’t you coming?”

He had been so engrossed in watching her speak that he hadn’t realized she was already standing. She was looking over her shoulder at him, her wavy brown hair brushed to one side. He simply nodded and followed her into the stacks.

As they walked through the tall shelves side by side, she spoke again, “Since I know English obviously isn’t your favorite subject, what is?”

He frowned at her attempt at small talk.

“I mean, you don’t have to answer,” she said nervously, “I just thought I’d get to know you since we’ll be spending a lot of time together, and you want to get to know me.”

“Well” he said, running a hand through his hair, “I guess I like chemistry.”

“Ah so you’re a math and science kind of guy!”

“No,” he snapped, “I hate math, it’s dull.”

“Oh…” Belle trailed off, looking down at the grey carpet as they meandered along.

Gold sighed, he cursed himself for making her feel bad, and then cursed himself again for caring.

“I just mean… I like chemistry because I like mixing things together and seeing what comes out of it. You can take two totally unique substances, combine them, and then be left with a completely different substance at the end. It’s kind of cool, you know?”

“Yeah,” she smiled, “That is cool.”

He cringed at how desperate he sounded but this was new territory. No one asked him about school, unless they were asking if he was suspended again. She seemed to understand him though, which was interesting.

“Here we are!” Belle said, saving him the embarrassment of having to describe his favorite subject more. They were standing in front of one of the tall shelves on the outer wall. The books were stacked on shelves from the floor to the ceiling, their spines creating a mix-matched rainbow of color. Belle walked several feet to the left and began to pull over a ladder that was connected to the wall on a slider.

“Of course Austen is at the top,” Belle sighed, “I really hate this system. They need to invest in more reachable shelves.”

Belle stepped on to the ladder and began to move carefully up. Gold watched as she climbed, teetering on her tall heels. He moved forward to hold the ladder in place as she got to the top.

“Careful there,” he said, “I’m not sure books are worth this much trouble.”

“Of course they are!”

At the top of the ladder, Belle was attempting to pull the desired volume from the row of tightly packed books. As she tugged at it, one of the spikes of her heels slipped off the rung, and she lost her balance. Letting out a small yelp, she fell backwards off the ladder, the dislodged book now in her hand. Without consciously thinking about it, Gold stepped back from the ladder and caught her in his arms. She landed with a small ommph from both parties, the book dropping from her hands to the floor as she grabbed his shoulders. It all happened in a matter of seconds, and he couldn’t even remember her actually in the air because now she was warm and comfortable in his arms. He looked down at her with a slightly stunned look on his face.

“Thank you,” she said breathily, looking up at him. It was then that he became extremely aware of all the places where their bodies were touching, and he quickly set her down on her feet. He cleared his throat awkwardly,

“You should be more careful.”

“I… uhh yeah, you’re probably right,” she stuttered, smoothing her skirt anxiously.

Gold reached down and picked up the fallen book. He held it out to her, but she shook her head.

“It’s for you, remember? Five books of my choice. This is the first one.”

He nodded slowly. He was feeling a little jittery still, and the library seemed too warm, too confining.

“You know, I actually just remembered I have something this afternoon. An appointment. I gotta go,” he said.

“But we-“

“I’m sorry,” he stated, already walked away, “We can meet next week instead.”

He refused to turn around, knowing he would feel even more guilty if he saw her questioning blue eyes. Feeling like a coward but unable to resist the urge, Gold threw the copy of _Sense and Sensibility_ into his bag at the table, and quickly left the library. He fingered the pack of cigarettes in his leather jacket pocket as he moved towards the doors of the school. This was going to be a longer semester than he had thought.


	5. Semi Charmed Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, a thousand apologies for the big gap in updates. Life just got really busy over the summer but I have the rest of this story planned out, so I plan on finishing it! Please take note of the trigger warnings attached to this, I updated them and I want to make sure they’re clear. And as always, thank you for the reviews and comments.

            On Tuesday, the sun shone brightly in the October sky, illuminating the falling leaves and casting them in a warm, multi-colored glow. Belle sat with Ruby, Emma, and Mary Margret at their usual lunch table near the windows. Ruby and Emma were discussing the latest news going around the school: a new student had arrived, the first since Emma had moved to Storybrooke a few years earlier.

            “He looks like such a hipster!” Emma exclaimed.

            “Well, I’m not complaining! Boy does he have the body for skinny jeans.” Ruby said, shaking her head and licking her lips. Emma rolled her eyes.

            “Ruby, he brought his guitar to school on the first day, who does that?”

            “What’s his name again?” Mary Margret asked.

            “Killian Jones,” Ruby and Emma said simultaneously. Mary Margret raised her dark brows and laughed.

            “That even sounds like a hipster name!”

            “Whatever, moving on.” Ruby said, “I want to hear about Belle’s session with Adam Gold.”

            The girls turned to look at Belle, who had been quietly chewing her sandwich and staring off into space. She noticed their shared looks and quickly snapped to attention.

            “What?”

            “How did it go with Gold yesterday?”

            “It seems you’re alive to tell the tale.”

            “He’s not that bad,” Belle said rolling her eyes, “We actually had a kind of nice conversation.”

            “Really?” Ruby said skeptically.

            “He may be trying to get you comfortable before he tries anything.” Mary Margret said.

            ”It’s more complicated than that! He’s just a person, he has feelings too you know.”

            Her friends all shared a concerned look.

            “I don’t know, Belle. How complicated can he be? He’s-”

            “Belle, he’s a drug dealer.” Emma said bluntly. Belle floundered a bit at her friend’s frank statement. Before their meeting, Belle had thought the same thing as all her friends: that Adam Gold was just a troublemaker and a menace. But since their conversations in the library, he didn’t seem so scary. He was interesting and layered, and Belle had spent most of her night and her classes this morning thinking about him and his cryptic ways.

            “I don’t think anyone is that simple. I think there’s more to him than people say.”

 

* * *

            Ignoring the bell signaling that lunch was over, Adam Gold strode out the doors to the cafeteria and headed toward the sports fields on the grassy hill beside the school. He went straight toward the football field, passing by the empty concession stand and the home team bleachers, still littered with confetti from last Friday’s game. The sound of his combat boots changed from clunking on concrete to silent as he stepped onto the rubbery grass. As he crossed the field he spotted the silhouette of a boy in the shade under the away team’s bleachers.

            The boy wore a long black coat and stood a full head above Gold. When Gold approached, he looked up from beneath a swooping mess of half-gelled auburn hair.

            “Jefferson.” Gold said in greeting, nodding his head.

            “Hey Gold, how’re things?” Jefferson asked, giving a wide, cat-like grin.

            “Things are fine” Gold responded with a roll of his eyes, “ and if they weren’t fine, that’s my business.”

            Jefferson put his hands up in defense.

            “Relax, I was just making small talk. You should try it sometime, might do you some good,” he said with a mocking smile.

            “What does that mean?” Gold asked, eyes flashing.

            “It means, I heard you’re having meetings in the library with one bookworm Miss Belle French.”

            “It was one study session, that’s all. How did you know about it?”

            “Libraries are an easy place to get lost in, relax in, spy in…”

            Immediately Gold thought of his conversations with Belle, attempting to sift through what was said and if any of it could be used against him. He never opened up to anyone, it was safer that way. Except when he was around Belle it seemed. She made him _want_ to talk instead of making him feel forced. They’d only had a real conversation twice and yet she felt so… safe. Then there was the moment of contact, after she fell into his arms. He remembered her closeness, the softness of her body, the way she stared up at him with those curious, bright blue eyes. Did Jefferson see that? Gold scowled and put Belle to the back of his mind, carefully reconstructing the high walls around his feelings and _her_.

            “Well stay away from whatever section I happen to be in, got it?”

            “I’ve never seen Belle with anyone outside of her good looking friend group. What do you two even talk about?”

            “English class.” Gold said flatly.

            “Like I said, you need to work on your people skills.”

            “I don’t need your advice.”

            “We don’t have much in the way of friends but at least we got each other. Right buddy?” he asked jovially, tossing an arm around Gold’s slim shoulders.

            Gold was un-amused.

            “Do you want the stuff or not?”

            Jefferson’s face became serious in an instant. He pulled away slowly and stood before Gold with a much somber look on his face. If Gold didn’t know any better he’d say Jefferson actually looked hurt.

            “You know I do.”  
           

            “Okay then.” Gold reached into the pocket of his leather jacket and pulled out a small envelope the size of a business card.

            “Regular price.”  
           

            Jefferson pulled out a thick roll of bills and handed it over. Gold proceeded to count out the bills, carefully unrolling each one.

            “You don’t have to count Gold, I wouldn’t cheat you.”

            Gold ignored him and finished counting before pocketing the money. He handed Jefferson the envelope containing the small, thin tablets. Jefferson took it quickly and held it tenderly between his fingers.

            “Well I’ll be on my way. Stay out of libraries, Jefferson.”

            “Sure, Gold.” Jefferson said, not looking at him as Gold began to walk away. When he reached the edges of the bleaches, he turned back before stepping onto the sunny field,

            “And by the way, I prefer to think of us as business associates. Let’s keep it at that, shall we?”

* * *

            When the final bell rang, Belle quickly gathered her papers and notebooks, and headed for the exit. She neglected her locker and chose to head straight for the school’s front doors, excited to get outside and enjoy some of the fresh fall air. As she walked down the front steps, she noticed a leather jacket clad figure standing by the flagpole on the side of the school. She turned away from the sidewalk to the student parking lot and hurried across the grass to the boy. As she approached, he removed the cigarette from his mouth and stamped it out. He smiled crookedly at her,

            “Hey”

            “Hi Adam,” she said. Belle tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, appreciating the way the sunlight reflected of his own soft-looking brown hair.

            “Can I help you with something?” he said, raising his eyebrows and looking at her expectantly.

            “Oh! Yeah I…” Belle trailed off. She didn’t really have anything to say to him. In fact, she didn’t even remember making the conscious decision to approach him. As soon as she saw him standing alone, she remembered the conversation from lunch and her feet led the way before her brain could catch up. She felt compelled to engage him in some form of conversation, if only to prove herself right about him. It definitely had nothing to do with how nice he looked with the sun behind him and a cigarette dangling lazily from his hand like some kind of James Dean fantasy cliché.

            “Belle?”

            “Oh my god! I’m sorry!” Belle jolted out of her thoughts and realized she must have been staring, “It’s been a long day, I was up late doing homework last night.”

            Gold hummed in response and nodded, still looking at her closely.

            “So… have you started the book yet?”

            Gold blinked and seemed to stumble over thoughts of his own.

            “Um, not yet, but I will! I’ve just been busy with some stuff is all. The book cover seemed intriguing though,” he offered her an apologetic look and she smiled.

            “I think you’re really going to like it. Try to read a little before our next session on Monday, we’ll talk about it then!”

            “You do remember our deal though right? I talk about the book with you, if you tell me more about yourself.”  
           

            Belle bit her lip and chuckled,

            “I remember, I won’t go back on my word.”

            They smiled at each other, and Belle was taken by his eyes once more. She still couldn’t figure out what color she would call them. Amber or russet with flecks of gold: anything but brown. As she looked at him she realized that he seemed nervous somehow, his usual arrogant aura gone. Gold looked around and rubbed the back of his neck.

            “So uhh, are you busy? I mean, what are you doing now?”

            “Well I’m-“

            “Belle!”

            Two heads whipped around to see Mary Margret making her way across the lawn towards the couple under the flagpole. She slowed down as she got close to them, her face wary as she eyed Gold.

            “Are we still going to Granny’s?”

            “Of course!” Belle smiled at her friend before gesturing to Gold, “We were just talking about the book I’ve convinced Adam to read, isn’t that right?”

            Gold just shrugged his leather-clad shoulders and looked away. Belle’s eyebrows crinkled as she looked at his face. He refused to meet anyone’s eyes, choosing instead to stare at the ground with a stony look on his face. Belle realized the walls were back up.

            “Well anyway…” Belle trailed off, noticing Mary Margret giving her a confused, if not concerned look. She gave the sleeve of Belle’s sweater a tug,

            “We should go, Ruby will be wondering why we’re not at our usual table.”

            “Right.” Belle nodded at her friend. She looked at Gold one more time, but failed to attract his gaze, “I’ll see you later Adam.”

            “Sure, whatever,” he responded, retrieving another cigarette and his lighter from his pocket and lighting up. Belle sighed as Mary Margret moved away to avoid the smoke. The two girls began to walk away, but Belle turned back around and addressed Gold one more time,

            “Those things will kill you by the way.”

            He looked up, surprised she was still nearby.

            “What?”  
           

            “The cigarettes. You’re not cool, you know.”

            Gold stared at her, the cigarette dangled uselessly in his long fingers. His look of confusion made her smile, and she continued emboldened.

            “I can’t have my reading buddy dying of lung cancer so soon, can I?”

            As she turned and walked away, she swore she could feel his eyes on her the whole way to Granny’s diner.

* * *

            Adam Gold turned onto the dark street at 6:17 that night. His walk from school should only take him approximately 22 minutes but he liked to let the time linger, and he normally chose to walk around the town slowly instead of going straight home. Now that it was fall, the sun set earlier and the nights became cooler, so he was forced home earlier than he’d like.

            The house he stood in front of was old, and it showed. It hadn’t been painted in years and one of the shutters was permanently stuck in a half open / half closed position. He took one last drag of soothing nicotine before putting out his cigarette and approaching the derelict house. He made his way across the dirt front yard, avoiding the few weeds that were able to spring up through the dry soil. There were no lights on in the house but that didn’t mean that it was empty.

            He quietly opened the unlocked front door and stepped inside the hallway, toeing off his boots to avoid any excess noise. He moved like a ghost down the corridor, heading for the stairs at the end of it. As he passed the living room, he saw a figure lying passed out on the couch. He prayed to every god he knew that the figure wouldn’t get up as he tiptoed by, but no one was looking favorably upon him today.

            “Hey!”

            With a grunt and the sound of overused springs, his father rose from the couch and staggered over to the entrance of the living room.

            “Where ‘ave you been?” his father drawled, leaning heavily on the archway between the living room and hallway. His uncut, greasy hair fell across his red eyes as he swayed back and forth, trying to focus on his son in the dimness.

            “I was at school, Malcolm.”

            “’Course you were. Always people and placed with you. Too ‘mportant to bother cleanin’ up round here or keep the bar stacked.”

            Adam crinkled his nose at the smell of whisky on his father’s breath.

            “You got any money boy? I know you do.”

            He handed the roll of bills from his jacket pocket to his father, secretly keeping a twenty for himself to cover groceries for the week. Malcolm counted out the money with shaky hands before pocketing it in his patched-filled coat. The large sum was sure to be gone by the following night, spent on too many glasses of cheap liquor and beer at the Rabbit Hole.

            “At least you’re good for something then.”

            Malcolm turned away, satisfied that his vices would be covered in the short term, and stumbled back toward the couch. Adam quickly hurried away, leaving his father alone in the dark.

            He took the stairs two at a time and arrived in his small bedroom, throwing the door closed and flicking on the single lamp. He sat down on the end of his bed, running a shaky hand through his long hair. Something on the small desk next to his bed caught his eye, and he reached over and grabbed the copy of _Sense and Sensibility_. He ran his fingers along the spine, and stared at the cover depicting a woman in a large, old-fashioned dress; her hair pinned up and pearls around her neck. He thought of Belle. She seemed so excited to talk about the novel. It wasn’t only the book though… could she possibly be excited about a conversation with him too? With thoughts like these in his mind, he ignored the crashing and stumbling coming from downstairs, and lied back on his mattress to read.


	6. Everything You Want

The weeks of October flew by and before Belle knew it, it was the week of Halloween. The whole school was buzzing with plans and proposals for Halloween night, which happened to fall on a Friday to the delight of the party-planning students. She weaved her way through the crowded hallway, trying to head toward the library for her after-school tutoring session with Adam.

“Hey Belle, wait up!”

Belle spun around and saw Emma shoving her way through the other students. The blond hurried up to her, glaring over her shoulder at two freshman standing obliviously in the middle of the hallway.

“Sorry Ems, I didn’t hear you. What’s up?”

“I wanted to make sure you were free Friday. I’m having everyone over to my place for Halloween!”

“Where else would I be?” Belle laughed, “Hanging out with some new crew?”

“I was just checking, you never know, maybe some other group is trying to steal you from us and lock you away!” Emma joked.

“Never! Now tell me what you’re planning.”

“Well I’m thinking of running a scary movie marathon in the background, but my main priority is food. We gotta go all out, I’m talking spiderweb cupcakes, Frankenachos, bat cookies, candycorn, the works. Maybe some “fun juice” to get the party started, but nothing crazy, I promise.”

Before she could respond, Belle felt an arm snake around her waist, and craned her neck to see Gaston standing above her.

“A Halloween party? You’re not going to tell me it’s another “Girl’s Night” are you? That’s been happening a lot lately, is there something you want to tell me?” he asked with a lewd wink.

Emma rolled her eyes, “I was going to invite you guys, you don’t have to be an ass about it.”

“Had to make sure, besides, we’re the ones who bring the fun.”

“Yeah sure you do.” Emma said sarcastically, “Party starts at 8:30, be there on time or I’m locking the door.”

Belle smirked at Emma’s quip before shrugging out from under Gaston’s heavy arm.

“Where you going, babe?” he asked, a frown forming on his broad face.

“I have to get to my tutoring session, it starts right after school.”

“Yeah, can’t keep Adam Gold waiting, can you?” Emma said. Gaston glanced between them,

“You’re still doing that? I don’t like you hanging out with him, Belle. He’s not a good guy.”

“We’re not ‘hanging out’, I’m helping him with school work,” she responded, already backing away, “I’ll see you tomorrow in class.”

Before Gaston could respond, Belle was already off again. She moved swiftly down the hall to the library, letting out a sigh of relief when she got inside. She let the comforting smell of musty books soothe her as she made her way to their regular table near the window. She was just pulling out her planner when she heard Adam pull out the chair across from her.

“Guess what I finished.” he said, triumphantly pulling Sense & Sensibility out of his stained messenger bag.

Belle clapped her hands together, “Oh Adam that’s awesome, great job!”

“Thanks, Teach.” he replied with an eye roll.

“What did you think of it?”

“Well I have to tell you-”

“You hated it didn’t you?” Belle demanded, putting her hands on the table and leaning forward. “Let me guess, you thought it was boring and dull. True romance is completely lost on guys who-”

“Actually I was going to say that I didn’t mind it.”

Belle paused, falling back in her seat for a moment, wide eyed.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I mean, it wasn’t the most exciting book, and some of the characters were fucking annoying, but I got into it. I read the whole thing.”

“Wow. I can honestly say I’m surprised that you finished it.”

“I’m full of surprises,” he said with a wink.

She smiled, wondering not for the first time why everyone at the school thought Adam Gold was so hard to talk to. So far during their sessions he was friendly, even chatty. He still scoffed at the “ridiculous” writing prompts they were given for English class and the “unnecessary” vocab assignments, but now they joked about things like Ms. Anderson’s outlandish broaches, or whatever insane town event was coming up next. He still rarely approached her outside of their tutoring sessions, and he wouldn’t talk to her friends, but if people only gave him a chance to open up…

“So who was your favorite character?” she asked, enticing him to talk more about the story. He paused for a moment, turning the book over and back in his hands.

“Elinor. She’s trustworthy, smart, and fiscally responsible, which I admire,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows, “Marianne would’ve been a lot better off if she’d acted like her sister from the beginning. Marianne annoyed me the whole time. Willoughby is obviously a douche; why couldn’t she see that? And Edward is fine, but a little boring, Colonel Brandon was the cool one. Actually I think he and Elinor would have made a good pair.”

“Look at you, having all these opinions,” Belle grinned.

“Yeah well…” he trailed off, playing with the corner of the book sheepishly.

“Don’t be embarrassed, it’s adorable how much you’ve thought about this.”

“Adorable, huh?” he said, raising an eyebrow. Belle felt her cheeks flush as he smirked at her.

She looked away and huffed, “Oh so I called you adorable, big deal. We’re not twelve,” she said, hoping she sounded nonchalant. He hummed in response.

“Whatever you say, Teach. Now I believe our deal was, I read a book of your choice, and then I get to ask you any question I want, right?” he asked, eyeing her up. Belle breathed in relief, silently thanking her lucky stars that he’d moved on from her comment. She nodded in agreement with him.

“Yes, and I have to answer. Go ahead, hit me with your best shot.”

“Any Halloween plans?”

Belle arched a brow, “That’s your question? I was expecting something deeper.”

“I’m getting you used to the water before I push you into the deep end,” he grinned, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms patiently.

“Okay, well…”

Belle felt her cheeks color at his scrutiny. Damn those stunning amber eyes! He made her so self-conscious. It was hard to focus when she was the object of his full gaze and attention.

“Emma’s having a… gathering,” she said, searching for the right words. “She has a huge basement; we can pretty much do whatever we want down there. It’s not a party exactly, just me, her, Mary, and Ruby. And the guys.”

“The guys.” he said, lingering on the word, gesturing for her to continue.

“David, Whale, and Gaston. Our boyfriends.”

Why did it sound so awkward and immature when she said that word? Suddenly she thought it sounded like they belonged to the boys. Boyfriends. Belle frowned, mulling over her newfound dislike of the word. Gold interrupted before she could finish her thought,

“You don’t sound that excited about going to an unsupervised high school ‘gathering’, as you so eloquently put it,” he said.

“It just feels like the guys are always around lately. Emma, Ruby, and Mary are my best friends, and we only have a year and a half left before we all go our separate ways. I feel like I don’t get to spend enough time with just them.”

“Or is it you don’t want to spend time with him?”

A sudden silence fell over them. Belle’s mouth hung open slightly as she processed his surprising question, but she quickly snapped it shut. Was it so obvious to everyone? She was just starting to realize it herself, but Gold was right. Every time Gaston was around these days, it felt like he was in the way. Always adding an unnecessary comment or gross joke. Last year, they fell into dating almost by accident. Mary Margaret had been dating David for a year, and suddenly at the end of sophomore year Ruby started seeing Whale. Shortly after Gaston asked her out. Belle couldn’t think of a reason to say no, so she said yes. Now she was his girlfriend, but it didn’t feel like they were in a real relationship. They rarely spent time together one on one, it was almost always in groups. When they were alone together, he seemed more interested in making out with her than actually listening to the words coming out of her mouth.

“It’s not that I don’t like spending time with him,” she said slowly, considering her words carefully, “Gaston is nice, it’s just… we don’t have to be together all the time, you know?”

“What do you even talk about? You don’t seem like much of a sports fan,” he asked with a wry grin.

She laughed, “I’m not. And I’m not really sure what we talk about, school I guess? I can tell you he’s never read Sense & Sensibility. In fact, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him pick up a book unless he was carrying my textbooks to class.”

“Ah so that’s why you keep him around, manual labor. Very smart, Miss French.”

Belle laughed again and Gold gave her a half-grin. She realized she loved that smile, the way one corner pulled up and his eyes crinkled with brief cheerfulness. She had never seen that grin before they started the tutoring sessions. It felt special, like he saved it only for her.

“Well, who’s to say why anyone does anything. The heart wants what the heart wants, right?”

“I guess that’s right.”

They stared at each from across the table for another moment, before Belle cleared her throat.

“Okay I answered your question for today. How about we move on to something really exciting, like this week’s English homework?”

Gold rolled his eyes but didn’t put up a fight, and silently reached into his bag for his notebook. Belle took that as a win.

 

* * *

 

 

After their session, they walked towards the front of the school library together. At the library entrance, Gold reached for the door and held it open, gesturing for Belle to go through. Belle cocked her head and gave him a wry smile,

“Why, thank you, sir,” she said teasingly.

“Don’t get used to it, I’m having a good day,” he shot back, giving her a smirk of his own.

They were about to part ways when a chorus of loud shouting caught their attention,

“- it was unnecessary, and you did it just to make me look foolish!”

The yelling was coming from the hallway next to the gym, which was diagonally across from the library where they were still standing. Belle and Gold shared a look before she hurried towards the noise.

“Belle wait! We shouldn’t get involved,” he said, striding after her.

She ignored him, and soon they were both looking down the hallway at Regina shouting at a startled Mary Margaret outside the locker rooms. Regina was flanked by two of her closest cheerleader confidants, Mal and Kathryn, standing with their arms crossed and glaring at the smaller pixie-haired girl. Belle had never seen Mary look quite so small as she did now, unfairly attacked 3 on 1.

“Regina I swear, I wasn’t trying to make you look bad. I just thought it’d be a little dangerous to do herkies when we’re positioned so close together like that-”

“You don’t have to butt in all the time! Contrary to your opinion of yourself, not every idea you have is perfect. You need to learn when to keep your goddamn mouth shut!”

“Hey!” Belle shouted. All four girls whipped their heads around to stare at her. Before she knew what she was doing, Belle found herself marching down the hall.

“Leave her alone, Regina! If you have something to say, say it in front of your coach and the whole team, or don’t say it at all.”

Regina stared her down, glancing between her and Mary Margaret.

“Stay out of this, bookworm. It has nothing to do with you.”

“Well I don’t like seeing my friends get yelled at for no reason!” Belle said, now upon them.

Regina scoffed, “Typical Mary Margaret, can’t stand up for herself. What’s it like having friends fight all your battles for you?”

“That’s not true, and you know it.” Mary said, lifting her chin, “And I’m not ashamed of having friends who stick up for each other.”

“Besides, I don’t see you taking on a fight alone.” Belle said, gesturing towards Regina’s shadows.

“Please, you have no idea what you’re even talking about it.” Mal responded, “You should stay out of matters that you don’t understand.”

“I don’t think so.” Belle said, stepping in front of Mary this time.

“I thought you were too smart to be this dumb, Belle. Don’t go around making enemies for no reason.” Regina said, her tone turning even darker.

“How about we let it lie, Regina.” Gold spoke from Belle’s side. Belle glanced at him quickly. She hadn’t even heard him approach. In fact, she thought he’d just walked away after seeing the girls’ spat. Regina relaxed her stance for a moment, leaning back and crossing her arms.

“Didn’t see you there, Gold. Any reason you’re lurking outside the girl’s locker room?” she asked, arching one perfectly manicured brow.

“None at all. But your caterwauling is hard to ignore. I thought I’d see if I could shut you up for the benefit of everyone else still in the school.”

Regina let out an indignant gasp, but Gold’s face remained passive.

“What do you even care?” Mal asked, clearly confused by his presence in the situation.

“Just passing through,” he responded, “Belle didn’t you mention you were grabbing a ride home with Mary Margaret? Looks like she’s ready to leave.”

Belle caught his eye, and he flicked his gaze toward the doors at the end of the hall. Clearly he was giving her an out, but she didn’t need him to intervene in this fight. One look at Mary Margaret's stressed face however, told her she should take the opportunity to leave. She frowned but nodded.

“Come on Mary, let’s go.”

Regina scoffed as Mary Margaret picked up her cheer bag, “Don’t question my authority on the floor again, got it?”

“Whatever, Regina.” Mary muttered, and both girls turned to leave before Belle glanced at Gold,

“Are you coming, Adam?”

He shook his head, “I got stuff to do.”

Mary Margaret's hand on her arm made Belle turn to leave, and they swiftly walked away towards the promise of the clear autumn air. Halfway down the hall, she turned and looked back to see Gold still standing opposite Regina and the other cheerleaders, leaning back against the wall and staring them down. Regina stepped forward, her head slightly bowed and said something to him, but she couldn’t hear what it was. Gold nodded and put a hand on her shoulder, in what looked to Belle like a comforting way. She pushed open the doors alongside Mary Margaret, thinking maybe she didn’t know as much about him as she thought she did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to apologize for the year long absence. Graduating from university and starting a real full-time job really took a lot out of me, but I really miss writing and I'm not kidding when I say I have this whole story planned out and I /will/ finish it!


	7. If You Could Only See

Friday, October 31st was a clear and sunny day that turned into a clear night, with a full moon illuminating the trick-or-treat paths of the many Storybrooke families. Children dressed as fairies, knights, witches, and ogres ran all around the small town, hoping to gather enough candy to last until Christmas. On a quiet street in a blue Victorian house, a group of teenagers were beginning a celebration of their own.   

 

Emma had hung fake spider webs and cheesy paper skeletons all around the basement to set the mood. They could hear the sporadic rings of the doorbell from their underground dwelling, which meant Emma’s parents would be kept plenty busy all night. Emma’s adoptive parents were kind and loved her very much, but they were older than most other parents, which meant they were slightly oblivious to the teens’ actions. Emma never went too far, but sneaking a flask of vodka to mix into a bowl of punch wasn’t exactly hard for her to accomplish. The punch plus a six pack of cheap beer provided by Gaston and Whale was the extent to which the group would be partying tonight. They were currently sitting around munching on the various treats Emma and Mary Margaret had made. Emma was lounging in a beanbag on the floor, next to an old easy chair that held David and Mary Margaret cuddled together. On the couch was Whale with Ruby sprawled in his lap, and Gaston, who took up most of the cushion next to them. Belle was perched on the arm of the couch next to Gaston. She sipped her punch, laughing at Emma’s commentary on how poorly made the movie _Trick or Treat_ was.

 

“And I can’t believe Gene Simmons agreed to make an appearance. KISS was ridiculous but in their own rock-and-roll kind of way. This movie is just plain bad!”

 

“You know what would make it better?” Whale asked, holding up his beer bottle and giving it a shake. Emma chuckled,

 

“You’re probably right,” she said, and downed the rest of the punch in her solo cup. “Does anyone else need any more?”

 

Ruby raised her hand high in the air and Emma grabbed her empty cup as she passed by the couch on her way to the card table she’d set up with the food and drinks. Mary Margaret and David both politely shook their heads. They all knew that Mary was the ultimate lightweight, and she tended to stick to only one cup for the entire night. David also tried to limit himself, using football training and solidarity with Mary Margaret as an explanation.

 

“I for one, would like something a little different,” Gaston said, standing up and pulling something out of his pocket. At first Belle thought it was a cigarette, but then she realized by the shape of it that it was a joint. She frowned slightly. She knew that Gaston had smoked before, but she didn’t think that he made a regular habit of it.

 

“Hey hey, you can’t smoke that in here,” Emma said, spotting it from her position near the refreshment table, “The smell will definitely travel, and I can’t risk my parents finding out.”

 

“Oh come on, Emma, don’t be lame,” Gaston replied. Whale slid Ruby off his lap and joined Gaston.

 

“We can open that window up there,” he said, pointing to the narrow storm window at the top of the basement wall, “No one will be able to tell.”

 

“Where did you even get that? Are you meeting up with Gold again?” David asked, a confused frown covering his normally jovial face. The mention of Gold’s name made Belle look away, hoping her friends didn’t notice the pink flush covering the tips of her ears. What was he doing on Halloween, she wondered.

 

“Yeah. So what?” Gaston said, rolling the joint back and forth between his fingers, “They only test us at the beginning of the season, we’re not gonna get caught.”

 

“That’s not the point, you shouldn’t be doing it during football season at all,” David shot back.

 

“There’s always a reason ‘not to’. Football season, off season cross-training, pre-season. If we waited, we’d never get the chance.” Whale replied.

 

“Besides, why are you judging us for this?” Gaston asked, “What would Coach say if I told him about the beer in your hand?”  

 

David shot up, approaching his teammates with a finger raised, pointing between them.

 

“Don’t threaten me. I thought we all agreed that we were going to be cool about this. No one tells on anyone, remember?”

 

“Come on boys, don’t start a fight.” Ruby said, stepping in between and holding out her hands to pacify the two groups.

 

“Besides David, there are more positive benefits to weed than alcohol. Like medicinal weed is a thing that helps people.” Emma said, trying to play both sides.

 

Belle spoke up from her perch on the couch, “Yeah, technically alcohol can be worse for your body,” she said, shaking her own cup of vodka punch, “but they’re both addictive and-”  


“We don’t need a science lesson, babe,” Gaston said, cutting her off, “let’s forget this stupid debate and just smoke it.”

 

Belle grimaced at her boyfriend. This happened every time she started to talk about anything that didn’t involve one of their friends, football, or food. She picked at a loose thread on the old couch arm. Every sign was pointing to the fact that Gaston was in no way interested in her for her brain. And if he wasn’t interested in her mind, she wasn’t feeling very keen on sharing her body with him either.

 

“Fine,” Emma was saying, “but if the smell gets too strong, I’m throwing a bucket of water on it. I’m not getting grounded for this.”

 

Gaston and Whale high-fived triumphantly, while David sulked back to the chair Mary Margaret was in. Whale stood on an old milk crate to prop open the storm window as Gaston took out his lighter and took the first puff of the joint. He passed it to Whale, sighing contently. As Whale took a puff, Ruby crossed the floor and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, hanging off of him as he released the smoke up and out.

 

“Come on Victor, it’s my turn!”

 

“I don’t know… it didn’t agree with you last time,” he replied after taking a second puff.

 

“That’s just because it was my first time,” Ruby said, her face indignant, “It’s not going to happen again!”

 

“Fine, but if you get cross-faded, I’m not taking care of you all night.”

 

Belle frowned at them from her spot on the couch. It seemed like Whale didn’t treat Ruby any better as a girlfriend than Gaston did to her. This wasn’t the first time Belle had noticed either. Gaston was often oblivious, obtuse, or occasionally rude, but sometimes Whale could be downright mean. He had a sharp wit, more so than Gaston or even David, and when something didn’t go his way, he wouldn’t restrain from giving the guilty party a tongue-lashing. Ruby claimed they didn’t fight that often, but Belle had caught them arguing in the hallway over all kinds of things, from her clothing choices to his flirty nature. She watched as he, Ruby, and Gaston passed the joint in a circle between them. What would happen, she wondered, if any of them broke up? Would they still see each other or would they fracture into smaller groups?

 

“Babe, you want a hit?” Gaston called, pulling Belle from her thoughts.

 

“No I’m fine, thanks,” she answered, noticing her empty cup, “I’m just going to grab some more punch.”

 

“You’re missing out,” Gaston grumbled turning back to the circle. As Belle stood and started refilling her cup with several large ladles of punch, she heard Whale call out,

  
“Are you sure you don’t want some, Belle? We got it from your new fella, Adam Gold!”

 

Belle stiffened, letting the ladle slip back into the bowl. She took a shaky sip of her punch before plastering a fake smile on her face and turning around.

 

“Very funny, Victor. You know that’s not true,” she said.

 

“Really? Because I heard otherwise. I heard he likes to get a little handsy in the stacks.”

 

“Hey shut up man,” Gaston growled at Whale, who just put up his hands and smirked.  

 

“I’m just telling you what I heard. They meet a few times a week, you really think Gold wouldn’t try anything after all this time?”

 

“I know he didn’t. Belle wouldn’t let that dirtbag anywhere near her.”

 

“Hey, don’t call him that!” Belle shouted.

 

Suddenly all eyes were on her, but Belle didn’t care. After their time together, Belle knew that Adam didn’t deserve to be treated this way. She believed he would stand up for her, so didn’t he deserve the same? Gaston stepped forward, his gaze fully focused on Belle.

 

“I thought you didn’t care about him? That it was just for school?”

 

“We _do_ meet just for school! But no one deserves to be called names like that, you don’t even know him!”

 

“Uh yeah I do. I know that he charges five times market price for his shit because everyone else is too afraid to challenge him, and that he upcharges even more if you rub him the wrong way. I know he doesn’t talk to anyone unless he’s dealing because he’s an asshole who thinks he’s better than everyone else.”

 

“Well, you don’t know him like I do then, because that’s not true,” she said, jutting out her chin defiantly.

 

“I can’t believe you’re standing up for this guy. I don’t get what you see in him.”

 

“I see good in him! I also see that no one at school gives him a chance, if people only spent some time with him-”

 

“Why does it seem like you have more fun when you’re _forced_ to spend time tutoring him, then when you _choose_ to spend time with me?” Gaston yelled.

 

Belle stuttered for a moment, grasping at a response that she couldn’t seem to articulate. She glanced around at the faces of her friends, all staring at her with shock. She and Gaston had never fought like this, let alone publicly. Usually she just let things roll off her back, but now she was fed up.

 

“Can I speak to you alone?” she growled, “Outside, preferably?”

 

Gaston didn’t respond, but he followed her as she started for the basement stairs. Belle ignored the concerned looks from her friends as she went. She downed her entire cup as she made her way to the stairs, dropping it at the foot of them before she started climbing up. She could hear Gaston’s clomping steps behind her. They silently marched down the hall to the front door, not even glancing to see if Emma’s parents were looking at them as they passed the living room. When they got outside, Belle quickly moved down the front steps and whipped around.

 

“You don’t get to speak to me like that!” she yelled, pointing a finger at him.

 

Gaston slowly made his own way down the steps and approached her, stopping a couple of feet away. She didn’t always notice it, but right now she could see how much bigger he was than her. As he towered above her, she realized just how many ways they were ill-fitted. Not just emotionally, but physically as well.

 

“If you’ve got something to say, just say it,” he said.

 

It was better to just come right out with it. Belle took a deep steadying breath, “I don’t want to be in this relationship anymore.”

 

Gaston snorted, and Belle could tell he was angry but not surprised.

 

“So that’s it then? You want to give up, so that means we’re over and through?”

 

“Gaston, come on! You have to feel it too, there’s nothing between us!”

 

“I wouldn’t say that…”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“This is you choosing him over me. I should’ve known that you being alone with Gold was a bad idea.”

 

“This isn’t about him!” Belle shouted, exasperated, “I’m talking about us right now. I’ve been feeling this way for a while, and-”

  
  
“Whatever. If you’d rather spend your time with a sleazy drug dealer over me, then why would I want you anyway?”

 

“You know what, Gaston? You’re a jerk, and I don’t think you ever even liked me. I think you just liked the idea of having a girlfriend!”

 

“Whatever you say, Belle. I’m out of here. You’ve obviously made your choice. Just stay the hell away from me on Monday,” he hissed, stepping around her and stomping toward the sidewalk. It was past 11 now, the street deserted and all the families at home, missing the spectacle between the two teens on the otherwise quiet street.   


“Yeah, like I’d want to go near you again!” Belle shouted after him. He briefly looked back over his shoulder and spat,  

 

“When he breaks you, and he will, don’t come crying back to me.”

 

Gaston stormed away, and Belle watched as his large form faded into the darkness. Suddenly the ramifications of their argument hit her, and she felt her stomach tighten painfully. Bile rose in her throat and she choked out a sob, her head suddenly pounding. The alcohol had caught up to her and she ran to the bushes before emptying the contents of her stomach. As she heaved, she heard the front door open and footsteps running up to her. Comforting hands pulled her hair back from her sticky face as she choked up the rest of the Halloween junk and punch. After five minutes, the feeling of nausea was still there, but it had finally settled slightly. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and turned her head slightly to see Ruby smiling at her sympathetically, rubbing her back.

 

“It’s okay, we’ve all been there,” she whispered, pulling Belle into a hug. Belle closed her eyes and rested her head on Ruby’s shoulder.

 

“Ruby, am I a complete and total jerk?”

 

“Absolutely not!” Ruby said, pulling back to look Belle in the eye, “He’s the jerk, Belle, you’re better off without him.”

 

“Was it my fault though?” she asked, feeling the tears begin to flood her eyes again, “Did I treat him as badly as he treated me? What if he’s right-”

 

“Shhh hey, it’s okay,” Ruby said, rubbing her back again as she cried, “You did nothing wrong. He didn’t treat you like he should’ve. You hear me? You did nothing wrong.”

  


* * *

 

 

Across town, Gold was lying in absolute silence on the plush couch of a huge, open living room. The large home was spacious and modern. Although he’d never admit it, Gold always looked forward to the nights when Jefferson finally got so lonely that he called Gold to come hangout. Jefferson’s parents were extremely wealthy but they were never home, often leaving their son on his own for weeks at a time. Jefferson claimed it wasn’t always fun, but Gold would trade his homelife for Jefferson’s any day. Just then, he heard Jefferson re-enter the room, the sound of his bunny slippers shuffling across the floor giving him away. The tall, gangly boy walked over to the glass coffee table and dropped a pile of moon pies and individual Cheeto bags.

 

Gold arched a brow as he eyed his companion. He still refused to call Jefferson a friend, but he supposed that Jefferson would call him one if anyone ever asked him. Which they didn’t. Jefferson was too weird for most kids to get along with. All his time spent alone had made him a little off-kilter, but Gold didn’t mind. Every so often it felt good to get away from the confines of either school or his house, and if that meant tolerating Jefferson, it was worth it.

 

“Alright, my favorite business associate,” Jefferson said mockingly, “these are the best snacks I’ve got.”

 

Gold rolled his eyes and sat up on the couch, “Looks delicious.”

 

“Oh I didn’t ask before, want anything to drink before we start the movie?”

 

“I’m fine.”

 

Jefferson nodded, and went to sit on the other end of the couch. He picked up a remote that had a touch screen instead of buttons, and queued “Across the Universe” up on the TV. As they waited for the stream to load, Gold noticed that Jefferson was staring at him.

 

“What?” he snapped, staring Jefferson down. The other boy threw his hands up in defense.

 

“Nothing! I was just wondering, that’s all.” Jefferson said, running his hand through his already messy hair.

 

“Wondering. What. Exactly?” Gold grit out between clenched teeth. Typical Jefferson, he always had a comment to make.

 

“Why do you get so nervous around Belle French.”

 

A silent beat passed before Gold growled darkly, “Excuse me?”.

 

“I’ve just never seen you that way around anyone before. Usually you’re all growly or menacing or even nonchalant, but you always look hesitant around her. I hadn't seen what hesitant looks like on you until now.”

 

“I thought I told you to stop spying on me in the damn library, Jefferson!”

 

“Come on, you have to open up a little or you’ll die by 30 thanks to the stress of keeping everything bottled up all the time.”

 

Gold folded his arms over his black Iron Maiden t-shirt, looking out the sliding glass door into the dark woods instead of at Jefferson. Was he truly so obvious? Yes, he was hesitant around Belle because he was still trying to figure her out. She was kind, and interesting, and the most beautiful girl he’d seen in this whole damn town, so why was she so interested in him? She never looked annoyed or bored during their sessions. It seemed like she actually wanted to be there, and Gold couldn’t figure out why. He still wanted to know more about her, this peculiar girl so different from all the other students, but he was terrified of scaring her away before he had the chance to get to know her more. Asking about her life opened the door for _her_ to ask about _him_ , and that’s what he had to avoid at all costs, which is why he’d come up with their current deal. He could learn more about her without having to worry about giving her answers about himself that would only hurt her in the end.  

 

“If you tell anyone this, I’ll murder you in your sleep, but sometimes I _appear_ nervous because I’m concentrating on what to say. I don’t want to scare her away.”

 

“Scare her away by saying what?”  


Gold gave him a withering stare, “Oh I don’t know, by accidentally mentioning the details of my drug business.”

  
  
“I think she already knows about that, man. Everyone does.”

 

“I mean the details. Like what I actually deal, the trouble I’ve gotten in, the trouble I’ve caused…”

 

“Whoa, is this Adam Gold actually have a conscious?”

 

“Absolutely-fucking not. But I don’t want her getting dragged into it-”

 

“And you don’t want her to look at you any differently than she does now.”

 

_“Yes.”_ Gold thought to himself, before snapping, “If you mention that to anyone, you’ll be the one who’s looking differently when I stab one of your eyeballs out and you’re stuck wearing an eye patch.”

 

“Okay, okay, you don’t want to talk any more, I get it! You don’t have to get snippy with me!” Jefferson grumbled.

 

Gold sat back and stared at the furry white carpeting of the living room. He’d probably said too much, but there was no one in school who would listen to Jefferson anyway. He’d also have to do a better job at hiding his feelings, but that was exceedingly hard when sitting in front of Belle French with her lovely blue eyes and musical laugh. He groaned inwardly. Why did he have to have the purest girl in school as his tutor?

 

“Only one last thing we need before starting the movie,” Jefferson said, pulling him back to reality. The auburn-haired boy reached into his pocket and pulled out one of the tabs of ecstasy that Gold had dealt him a while back.

 

“I have a few more left, want me to grab you one? Or did you bring something of your own?”

 

“No. I’m fine.” 

 

“Suit yourself.” Jefferson said, placing the tablet on his tongue. He hit play on the movie and they both settled into silence. Just as the film started, Jefferson spoke up again.

 

“You know, I think you think too much,” he said, as the lyrics of “Girl” by the Beatles began to play in the background, “Sometimes you just gotta let it all go and enjoy the trip.”

 


	8. Fix You

After waking up on the couch in Emma’s basement Saturday morning with a pounding headache and puffy eyes, Belle spent the rest of Halloween weekend laying low and helping her father in the flower shop. She really didn’t want to face the rest of the town yet, especially when she was still coming to terms with the breakup herself. She didn’t regret what she did, and she certainly didn’t miss Gaston, but she was embarrassed and a tad melancholy over the end of her first relationship. Maurice French, a sweet but often oblivious dad, could tell that she was quieter than usual, and he kept trying to cheer her up with silly flower puns. Belle appreciated the effort, and she granted him several smiles to show she was okay, but it was times like these she wished her mom was still with them.

 

She answered all the concerned texts that came in from her friends, but declined to see anyone until Monday, wanting the full weekend to clear her head. On Monday morning, Ruby offered to pick her up, and when Belle trotted down her front steps she saw her friend holding a fresh coffee and breakfast bag from Granny’s through the car window. Belle smiled as she slid into the passenger seat.

 

“Thanks for the pick-me-up, Rubes.”

 

“No problem, honey” she replied with a grin, “Granny made an extra batch of chocolate chip, she knows it’s your favorite muffin.”

 

Belle groaned, dropping her head against the back of her seat.

 

“You mean she knows?”

 

“I think a lot of people know. Once Gaston’s mom blabbed it over brunch, it spread real fast.”

 

Belle sighed, “Well I guess it’s better than having to tell people myself.”

 

“How are you doing?” Ruby asked sympathetically as they drove to Storybrooke High.

 

“I’m fine actually. I’m sorry you had to see me like that on Friday,” Belle said sheepishly, “It was the vodka punch doing most of the talking… and the crying.”

 

“But you don’t regret anything, right?”  


“Absolutely not! We weren’t right for each other, and we probably shouldn’t have been together in the first place. I’m just glad it ended on my terms. I’m done with him.”

 

“Good.” Ruby said, nodding her head in solidarity, “You’re better off without him.”

 

They drove in companionable silence the rest of the way to school. When Ruby swung into her spot in the student parking lot, Belle bit her lip and glanced out the window nervously at the other students walking into school.

 

“Hey, it’s going to be okay,” Ruby said softly, giving Belle’s arm a squeeze, “And if anyone dares to say anything to you, I’ll knock their teeth out.” Belle chewed her lip and nodded, knowing that Ruby meant what she said, but still worried about facing the mocking from other students anyway. _‘Why would anyone break up with a football player?’ ‘It’s not like she’ll ever find anyone better, she’s so odd’ ‘What a loser, if she won’t date him, I will’_. The gossip in Belle’s head made her stomach twist, and she hoped that the whole situation would blow over as soon as possible. As she exited the car and walked with Ruby down the path to the front of the school, she discreetly crossed her fingers, hoping that the day would be uneventful.

 

* * *

 

 

Surprisingly, it was. There were a few whispers in the lunchroom when Gaston sat on the opposite side of the cafeteria with the other football players and didn’t approach Belle at all, but there were no jeers, name-calling, or horrible slow-motion laughter like she pictured in her head. It seemed like the news of two students’ breakup wasn’t enough for the thirsty Storybrooke High rumor mill unless it involved some kind of scandal or destruction of property. For once, Belle was relieved that all her fellow classmates had over-dramatic tendencies. Gaston kept his distance the whole day and she stayed away as well, not needing or wanting to talk to him again. Before she knew it, the end of the day had arrived and it was time for her tutoring session with Adam.

 

She was already at their usual table in the library when she saw him approach. Instead of his usual cocky grin and sarcastic comment, he sat down without a word and looked at her thoughtfully. Belle quirked an eyebrow at him, and he ran a hand through his long hair before finally saying, “I heard about you and that Gaston guy. I hope you’re doing okay.”

 

Belle smiled slightly, and looked down at the table. She wasn’t sure who he heard it from but it was sweet of him to ask. Although she still didn’t want to discuss it with most people, Adam felt like a safe option. For some reason, she knew he wouldn’t judge her. When she looked up, he was still watching her with an almost-concerned expression. At least she thought it was concern, she had never seen him look like that at anyone else before.

 

“I’m doing fine. Very fine. I was the one who wanted us to break up. It was time.”

 

“Good,” he nodded, seeming satisfied with her answer, “You know, I’d say I was sorry but I’d be lying. I think you were too good for him.”

 

“Well I’ve heard it from my friends, and now from you, so I guess I have to believe you,” Belle said, teasing him a little.

 

“It’s true,” Gold replied, “But seriously, is there anything I can do? I could break into the cafeteria and snag some Nestle drumsticks. Girls like ice cream after a breakup, don’t they?”

 

Touched by how kind he was being, Belle giggled and shook her head. She felt some of the tension in her shoulders ease for the first time all day as she laughed at his cliché comment.

 

“No, that’s okay. I just want to move on and put it behind me. I don’t wish him any ill will or anything, but I’m glad to be free for a while.”

 

“So that means there won’t be any eggs on his car or toilet paper decorating his house tomorrow?”

 

“Nope, not from me anyway.”

 

He chuckled, “You’re taking this a lot better than most girls in this school would.”

 

“I guess I’m just not into the drama. I don’t need everyone’s attention all the time,” Belle shrugged, “I’m not completely made of stone though. I was sad after it happened, he was my first kiss, my first relationship. In the end I needed it to be over though. I never had fantasies of us going to college together or getting married. It wasn’t true love.”

 

“True love, huh?” Gold crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, taking on the posture of what Belle referred to in her head as his ‘I’m up to something’ look.

 

“Hey, don’t mock! It’s real!”

 

He just hummed in response, giving her that cheeky half-grin she’d grown fond of.

 

“I know you think it’s some crazy fantasy that I only read about in my books, but I believe it exists!”

 

“Okay, I’m open to debating. If you’re such an expert, explain to me what ‘true love’ is.”

 

“I’m not an expert,” Belle said, her cheeks coloring, “It’s hard to describe what true love is if you haven’t experienced it yet.”

 

She paused and he motioned for her to continue.

 

“ … I think it has to start with a connection, something you can’t even really explain because you can’t find the words to describe it. It’s just there, between two people. Sometimes even strangers. Then this deep connection grows and grows because the two people make each other happy. Maybe they make each other happy because they make each other laugh, or they support each other through tough times. Suddenly, almost without knowing it, they realize that there’s only one person they want to talk to when they first wake up, and again at the end of the day. They become partners. If that special spark that’s there in the beginning is fanned and tended into a burning flame by the happiness and comfort they give to each other, then that sounds like true love, right?” she finished, leaning forward, her blues eyes widened imploringly.

 

Gold blinked a few times. She smiled slightly at his stunned expression, pleased that she’d rendered him speechless but praying he wouldn’t laugh in her face.

 

“That was very… poetic,” he said.

 

“You think I’m crazy, don’t you?”

 

“No!” he said quickly, “Not at all. I think you’re a romantic, and that probably clouds your vision around some things. But I don’t think you’re crazy at all for believing that a love like that is really out there.”

 

Belle watched him for a moment. He was fidgety all of a sudden, and he had trouble meeting her eyes when he said that last bit, but when he did look up at her from beneath those long lashes of his, she could see a longing in his eyes. It was the same silent plea for acceptance that Belle had in her own eyes much of the time. Belle felt her heart melt all over again, just like it did when he smiled at her.

 

Suddenly something clicked in her brain. Is this what people meant when they talked about having feelings for someone? This unexplainable warmness in her veins and numbness at the edges of her normally sharp mind. It was strange because she’d never been so physically affected by a simple look from someone before. Gaston’s gaze never made her feel simultaneously nervous but entranced; woozy but excited. Maybe she really did have romantic feelings for Adam, like Gaston had said. If just one look from him had her limbs feeling like jelly, what would it feel like to have his lips on hers? She remembered the feeling of his strong arms around her that day she’d fallen off the ladder, how safe yet inexplicably excited she felt. Would kissing him feel like that too, she wondered. She could lean over right now and find out, if she could only convince herself that she had the courage to do it…

 

Then Belle remembered that they were in school, in a very visible section of the library. Her cheeks flushed bright red instead of their normal pink when she realized she’d been daydreaming about Adam when he was sitting right across from her, waiting for her to say something. That slightly concerned look was back, and he waved a hand in front of her face to get her attention.

 

“Did I lose you there for a second, Teach?”

 

“Oh my god, I’m sorry-” Belle stuttered, shaking her head quickly and squeezing her eyes shut so that she wouldn’t continue staring at him like a fool. “I’ve been distracted all day. It’s weird, sometimes my mind just goes off on tangents when I’m trying to process something.”

 

“I’m sorry if I made you talk about this kind of stuff if you weren’t ready.”

 

_It wasn’t that_ , Belle thought to herself, _if only you didn’t have such a distracting, beautiful face_.

 

“Don’t worry about it,” she said aloud to him, “Besides, we can talk more about me after you finish your next book.”

 

He narrowed his eyes at her change of subject, but he couldn’t stop the slight smile on his face. Belle took note of it and smiled herself as she reached into her book bag to get the next novel.

 

“We’re doing Catcher in the Rye this time. I think you’ll like it, you and J.D. Salinger would probably get along.”

 

She passed him the book and he looked it over like he was scrutinizing an animal that might decide to lash out at any second.

 

“Well at least it’s shorter than the last one.”

 

“Oh come on, don’t pretend like you’re not excited to read something new.”

 

“Maybe. We’ll see how it goes,” he said, storing the small book in his inner jacket pocket.

 

* * *

 

 

The next day, Gold stood outside by the bleachers during homeroom, enjoying a cigarette and the opportunity to be alone with his thoughts. Thoughts that were primarily about Belle. She was intelligent and beautiful, and yet for some reason she cared about his opinion. After her speech about true love yesterday, she’d looked so vulnerable, like she was afraid that he would laugh in her face. When she looked at him with those damn wide eyes, it made his heart clench. He felt a strong urge to protect her, and that was the main reason for his current angst. He was finally coming to terms with the fact that a large part of him wanted to be the one to provide her with the happiness and security she deserved, but his rational side consistently reminded him that he couldn’t. Belle deserved nothing but happiness, and to be protected from the harsher parts of the world that would steal her optimism and smile. And that’s what he was. A dark cloud just waiting to rain all over her sunny outlook.

 

Gold dug the heel of his combat boot into the dirt where he stood. He had to get a grip on his feelings toward her. They were obviously one-sided. She was probably just being kind because that’s the type of person Belle was: someone who was kind to everyone. Here he was spending his nights thinking about what it would be like to kiss her, to hear her chatter away about books as she lay next to him in his bed, whereas she probably considered him a friend at best. Why would a girl like her want to be with a monster like him?

 

Even still, he swore to himself that he’d watch out for her. Belle deserved to leave this town at the end of high school and go spread good in the world. He wouldn’t allow himself to hurt her, but he wouldn’t let anyone else at the school do it either. If that Gaston tried to get back at her in any way, he wouldn’t hold back from making the guy suffer for it.

 

Sudden footsteps coming down the path behind him scared Gold out of his thoughts. He stomped his cigarette out, and turned around to see Regina approaching him. Gold hadn’t seen much of her since her needless fight with Mary Margaret outside the locker rooms a few weeks ago. He nodded at her, already reaching into the pocket of his leather jacket for her pick-up when she reached out and grabbed his wrist to stop him.

 

“I’m not here for that,” she said, staring at him imploringly with her brown eyes, “Well I am… but not yet.”

 

“Okay,” he said slowly. He was intrigued but skeptical, as he always was with Regina. Usually she just came to him to complain about some boring school drama or simply for pills. Sometimes though, she had a piece of gossip that was useful to him.

 

“Do you ever feel so frustrated and angry that you just want to scream?” Regina asked, stepping closer to him.

 

Gold frowned, “You know the answer to that.”

 

“Then why don’t we save the rest of the school from suffering, and take the frustration out on each other?”

 

Crap. This hadn’t come up in a while. It had been months since she’d approached him in this way, and he thought he’d finally gotten it through her damned head that he wasn’t interested in that anymore.

 

“Regina, stop.”

 

“I could make it worth your while,” she said, moving forward so that their bodies were just barely touching. He closed his eyes as she ran a manicured hand down his chest, but he also grimaced and stepped back before she could continue.

 

“Did you have a fight with your mother again?”

 

“No…” Regina scoffed, and folded her arms, unsubtly pushing her breasts up a little higher, “Okay maybe I did, but come on, this will make us both feel better.”

 

“I told you that was a one-time thing. And it was just to make your mother mad.”

 

“It was a two-time thing, and you know it.”  

 

“Regina, come on. I don’t want to hurt you, but I also can’t do this.”

 

“Fine,” she said, letting her arms drop to her side and looking down at the dirt. Once he was sure that she wasn’t going to jump him again, he relaxed and leaned back against the bleacher pole and looked at her closely.

 

“Why don’t you tell me what Madame Mayor did this time.”

 

Regina picked at her fingernails for a moment, chipping off some of the dark red polish. Finally she looked up at him, her eyes just misty enough for him to notice.

 

“She thinks I’m not trying. It’s been worse than ever this year, since I lost Class President. She doesn’t understand that I’m doing _everything_ I can. Five AP classes, cheer captain, head of Model UN... it’s never enough for her! We had a huge fight on Sunday. We were screaming at each other so loudly, the whole block must have heard. Then she locked me in my room before dinner. She told me that ‘if I wasn’t going to conquer the world, I didn’t deserve to see it at all’. That’s why I wasn’t in school yesterday.”

 

Gold raised his eyebrows, “She kept you home from school?”

 

“Yes. You don’t know how relieved I was to hear that lock finally click open last night,” Regina sighed, closing her eyes, “I was just sitting there, thinking about what a failure I was, all day long.”

 

It was harsh even for Cora. Gold knew all too well that the Mayor of Storybrooke could be merciless. He’d experienced it himself. At the end of last school year, he’d been making an exchange in the alley behind Granny’s Diner when the deputy sheriff just happened to step outside for a smoke. Before Gold could even run, the deputy had his taser out threatening to shock both him and his client, some boy named Fredrick. Both teens were taken to the station, but Frederick was allowed to leave shortly after his parents arrived and dragged him out by the ear. Gold was still sitting in the sheriff's office when Cora had stormed in. She’d known all about Gold and the type of “merchandise” he brought into Storybrooke. He was “a lowlife and a scourge on the town”, and she said it right in front of him, staring at him like he was scum on her boot.

 

Luckily the sheriff had taken pity on him. He knew who Gold’s father was. Out of pity, he only gave Gold probation instead of booking him and sending him to jail. Having just turned 17, he could’ve been tried as an adult if the prosecution decided on it, and with Cora on their side they certainly would have. But he walked away relatively unscathed and vowing not to be intimidated by the damn mayor who thought she could control the entire town.

 

A few weeks later, right after school let out for the summer, he slept with Regina. He didn’t plan it, but she’d offered him a ride home from school on their last day, and it’d been raining so he said yes. When he realized that she was driving to her house instead of his, he said nothing. When she parked on her leafy street in front of her stately, white manor, and reached a long-nailed hand down to his crotch, he still said nothing. She didn’t invite him inside, but it didn’t matter, there was plenty of room in her car. It worked out because she didn’t care about him and he didn’t care about her, they both just wanted to make Cora angry. Of course they didn’t blatantly tell her, they let the constantly churning rumor mill that was Storybrooke give her a twisted version of the story.

 

Cora had never gotten over the fact that “the menace” was able to walk free and continue ruining her town. Now he’d ruined her daughter too. Gold would never admit it to anyone but himself, but he felt guilty afterwards. Not for screwing over Cora in any way he could, but guilty for using Regina like that. He didn’t like the feeling of using a person’s body in that way, when there were no feelings behind it. However, he didn’t exactly hear Regina complaining and they were both pleased when Cora went off on a crazed rant against teen sex and the importance of abstinence during a town hall meeting. Every citizen in attendance had looked at her like she was insane. So no, Gold didn’t regret it, but he didn’t like it.

 

What he _really_ regretted was the second time it happened, because she wouldn’t leave him alone after. Regina never asked for a relationship, god knows she didn’t actually want to date him, but she thought they could have a ‘friends with benefits’ situation. He had to remind her in no uncertain terms that he didn’t have friends, and he didn’t really care about ‘benefits’ that much anyway. But she continued to bring it up throughout the summer when they’d meet up for her to buy her pills. He felt bad for Regina, he truly did, because if anyone knew what it was like to be treated like crap by a parent, it was him. She was angry at the world because of it, and he knew exactly how that felt. So they maintained an uneasy alliance, even as he turned her down each time he saw her. He still thought she was shallow and cared too much about what other students thought, while she thought he was aloof and didn’t care enough about what _anyone_ thought. Eventually she stopped propositioning him and by the time they’d started senior year, she hadn’t brought it up in a couple of months. Today was the first time she’d asked him to hook up all school year, which is how he knew that something must be wrong.

 

“It’s illegal to keep a minor out of school you know,” Gold said, trying to be sympathetic while also staying away from the ‘hook-up’ subject, “She can’t do that to you.”

 

“It was only for a day,” Regina said bitterly, “Besides, you know I could never fight her legally. No one in this town would go up against her, and even if I went to the state she’d fight her way out of it, she always does.”

 

Gold nodded slowly, “She’s a powerful woman.”

 

“I’m just counting down the days until I turn 18 and can move out. My birthday can’t come soon enough this year.”

 

“I know what you mean,” he agreed quietly, thinking about his own birthday that was just a couple of months away. The one that would mean he was finally no longer a minor, and legally free of his father for good.

 

They stood in silence for a moment, both looking in opposite directions. There was nothing else to be said at this point. Gold sighed and reached into his pocket again for the only comfort he could offer her.

 

“Here, take this,” he pressed a small envelope with the Xanax she usually requested into her hand, “I’m sorry I can’t do anything else, but I promise you’ll feel better.”

 

Regina curled her hand around the small packet and held it to her chest for a moment, sighing deeply. She then tucked it away in her bag and handed him the cash, but he refused to take it. Even though she had all the money in the world to pay for it, and he didn’t, it was the only symbol he could offer her to show she wasn’t alone.  

 

“Thank you,” she whispered. Regina turned to walk away when a thought came to Gold.

 

“Actually Regina, I have a favor to ask.”

 

She looked over her shoulder and gave him a withering stare, but stopped walking nonetheless.

 

“Typical. Just when I think you’re doing something out of the kindness of your heart, you need a favor,” she muttered.

 

“We may not be friends, but we always help each other out, right? Well, in exchange for that pretty set of pills I just gave you, I want you to leave Belle French out of your schemes to humiliate Mary Margaret or any of the other students in this school.”

 

“First of all, I don’t scheme-”

  
“Yes, you do.”

  
  
“Alright, sometimes I do. But secondly, why do you care if Belle is involved?” Regina asked, eyes narrowing.

 

“I… just don’t want her getting hurt. I’ve gotten to know her and she’s a good person.”

 

Gold looked down and tried to stop himself from fidgeting with his hands, a nervous habit of his. Regina was watching him like a hawk, and the last thing he needed was for her to think that she had some real dirt on him.

 

“You normally don’t care who gets hurt as long as it’s not you. What brought on this newfound sense of chivalry?

 

“Nothing-”

 

“Do you _like_ her?”  


Gold tried to respond, but apparently his face said it all because Regina crowed,

 

“Oh my god, you do! You have feelings for your tutor!”

 

“I do not!” he yelled back, wincing at how childish he sounded. He was 17 years old, almost 18, this was ridiculous.

 

“Oh relax, would you? I’m not going to say anything. But I am going to use this in _my_ favor,” she said. If he wasn’t so angry at her, Gold would be almost proud at how quickly she was able to use information for her own gain. It seems they’d been non-friends for too long...   

 

“Listen, I don’t have feeli-”

 

“Be quiet Gold, I can tell that you do. So here’s _my_ deal to you. I promise I’ll leave Belle alone, if you promise to not get involved in any of my plans, like you did that day in the gym hallway. If Belle’s not involved there’s no reason for you to step in anyway. So promise me there will be no more Hero Time from you, and you got yourself a deal.”

 

Gold took a moment to look her over, reading her face for any signs of a lie or trick. When he didn’t see any malicious intent, he nodded once.

 

“That’s an easy deal to make.”

 

He stretched out his hand and she took it, shaking twice for good measure. Regina smiled as she backed away again, much happier than she was a moment ago. It was the devious smile she wore when she thought she’d won.

 

“It was a pleasure as always. Good luck pursuing Belle French. She _totally_ seems like your type”.

 

“Shut up,” Gold muttered, “I’m not going to pursue her.”

 

“Sure you’re not,” Regina said, her tone mocking, “I’ll see you around, Gold. Thanks for the hit.”

 


	9. Only Wanna Be With You

The first sign that it was Thanksgiving in Storybrooke was the giant cornucopia that stood beneath the town clock-tower. Each year the nuns from the convent nearby would set up the cornucopia as a festive way to collect donations for the poor during the holiday season. As Belle and her father walked to Granny’s on Thanksgiving morning, Belle plopped the shopping bag of canned goods into the already-stuffed bin. Giving to others in need always helped Belle feel better about the holidays. Assisting people less fortunate reminded her that there were families who suffered even more than hers after the loss of her mother. 

 

Belle and Maurice were joining Ruby and Granny for a full Thanksgiving meal, a tradition they’d begun several years ago after Granny realized how hopeless both the Frenchs were in the kitchen without Collette around. Belle looked forward to the event, and the familiar, safe feeling she got while sitting around the table with her dad, Ruby, and Granny in the private kitchen upstairs above the diner. It made her feel like their family wasn’t so broken. She always volunteered to help Granny make the salad and rolls, and willingly helped with the dishes afterwards, anything that distracted her from the fact that her mom was missing from the holiday festivities. 

 

As Granny and Maurice discussed town politics over after-dinner coffee, Belle and Ruby wandered into the living room with their own cups of hot cocoa. Belle plopped down and curled up in a corner of the couch, and Ruby grabbed an old striped afghan from the top of Granny’s rocking chair before joining her. They sat in companionable silence for a few moments, giggling as they tangled their feet together under the afghan. Belle smiled at her friend, remembering how many times they’d fallen asleep on this very couch as kids after watching too many movies at sleepovers. Ruby was her oldest friend, which made Belle wonder why it was so difficult to say what she was about to say. 

 

“Hey Ruby,” Belle said, sucking in a deep breath, “Can I tell you something? Something I haven’t said out loud before?” 

 

“Of course, honey! You can talk to me about anything, I mean that,” Ruby said seriously, sitting up straighter at her end of the couch to face Belle. Belle took in the worried expression on her friend’s face and decided that she had to just say it, before Ruby thought she had something really serious to reveal, like an illness. Better to rip it off like a band-aid. 

 

“So… I think I might have feelings for someone new.”

 

Ruby’s penciled-in eyebrows shot up. She studied Belle for a moment before replying,

 

“Wow, okay. I knew you were over Gaston, but I didn’t think you’d be into someone again so soon. It’s totally fine that you are though,” she said quickly. 

 

Belle smiled gratefully and glanced out the window behind them that looked onto Main Street. It was strange saying it outloud, but over the past few weeks Belle had finally been able to admit to herself that she felt something deeper than friendship for Adam. It was strange. The feelings had hit her all at once, but it had taken her a while to really process them. Now she could barely sit across from him in the library without thinking about kissing him. They would be reviewing the latest English assignment, and he would run his hand through his hair or shoot her a cheeky half-grin, and suddenly Belle found herself short-of-breath and subconsciously rubbing her thighs together beneath the table. As soon as she’d catch herself, she’d turn bright red, but she couldn’t help it. 

 

It wasn’t only physical either. Besides Ruby, Emma, and Mary Margaret, there wasn’t anyone else in school who made her laugh as often. She looked forward to their sessions and was always entertained by his thoughts on their latest project and his ramblings against their teacher. He also never failed to ask her about herself. It felt nice to have someone so interested in her ideas and opinions. Their tutoring sessions always seemed to fly by too fast. She still rarely saw him outside their lessons and she didn’t bring him up to her friends at all, but it still felt like Adam had carved out a big space in her heart for himself.   

 

“So… can I ask who it is?” Ruby asked, dragging Belle from her thoughts. She turned away from the window and forced herself to meet Ruby’s questioning gaze. This was the hardest part.

 

“Ummm… it’s Adam Gold.”

 

Her admission was met with silence. Ruby was wide-eyed, her maroon-colored lips parted in shock. 

 

“You have a crush on Adam Gold?” Ruby repeated, punctuating each word. 

 

“Yes, but please don’t say anything to anyone else! I’m still figuring things out myself,” Belle pleaded. Ruby gave Belle a hard look, the kind that she was used to seeing on Granny’s stern features when one of the girls had done something particularly stupid. 

 

“Don’t you think the fact that you don’t want anyone to know about your feelings for him, is a bad sign?”

 

Belle’s stomach dropped. She knew that Ruby wouldn’t exactly be thrilled about her feelings, but she didn’t think she’d try to talk her out of it. 

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I mean, there’s some part of you that still remembers that Adam Gold isn’t a good guy, right?. That’s why you haven’t told me or anyone else yet. I think you might be blinded by your feelings, and honey, it’s my job as a friend to tell you when I think your heart is wrong. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

 

“I’m not going to get hurt, Ruby, I haven’t even done anything with him yet! I just really like spending time with him, and I think I’m feeling something brand new. Something I’ve never felt before, even with Gaston.”

  
  
“You’re really serious about this, aren’t you?” 

 

“Yes, I am.”   
  


They stared at each other for a moment, Belle chewing her lip and Ruby twisting her long hair nervously around her index finger. Belle could count on one hand the amount of times they’d fought during their long friendship. Although this wasn’t really a fight, she was desperate to make Ruby understand her point of view and prevent this disagreement from turning into one. 

  
“Belle, I’m just concerned about it. I can’t help but worry, you’re too sweet for your own good sometimes! I know you’ve said before that we don’t know him like you do, and yeah that’s probably true. But-” Ruby held up a hand as Belle tried to interrupt her, before continuing, “I think there are still sides to him that you don’t know about either.”

 

“You may be right. But I’m never going to find out for sure what he’s really like underneath his facade unless I talk to him about this, am I?” Belle replied. She paused a moment before continuing, “It’s really hard to explain, but I can’t stop thinking about him. I’ve never wanted to kiss someone so badly before. I think I need to give this a chance.”

 

Her bluntness made Ruby smile. “Okay, if you’re really sure about this, I guess I can’t stop you. But I want it to be noted that I was against this!” She paused, cocking her head and studying Belle for a moment, “So what are you going to do about it?   
  


“I don’t know. I’m not sure if he’d ever consider dating me. I think I want to try to admit my feelings, but what if he laughs at me? I don’t want to be one of those girls who’s too afraid to go for it because she’s afraid of rejection, but I’m scared I’m going to look like an idiot.”   
  


“Hey, if he laughs at you, I’ll kick his ass! He’d be lucky to date a girl like you.”

 

“Thanks Ruby, but he might not feel the same as I do. I don’t really think he’d laugh at me, but it’s a real possibility that he doesn’t think of me as anything but a tutor.”

 

“I think you mean an exceptionally bright and pretty tutor,” Ruby corrected, “But I guess you’re right, it’s always better to try and talk it out, rather than keep your feelings hidden. You have to be careful though, promise me that! Don’t let him convince you to do anything you don't want to do. If I see you come home crying, I’m going to be out for blood!”

 

Belle smiled and shook her head, “You worry too much. But thanks for listening, and for being the best friend a girl could ask for. Not many people can say that their bestie would risk getting arrested for assault just because a guy turned her down.”

 

“Anytime, Honey! You can always talk to me, I want you to know that. Even if we don’t always agree, you can tell me anything,” Ruby said, moving toward the middle of the couch and pulling Belle towards her so they were side by side.

 

“I know,” Belle said softly, leaning her head on Ruby’s shoulder.   

 

“So if you’re done making your confession of love, can we get back to what’s really important?” Ruby asked jokingly.

 

“Sure, what is it?” Belle asked, lifting her head to look at her friend. 

 

“Mapping our plan for Black Friday Shopping!”

 

Belle smiled and shook her head, “You’re right. It’’s planning time, I’ll google a map of the mall.”

 

* * *

 

The girls arrived at Storybrooke’s mall at midnight, and it was now a little past 6 am. Ruby was leading the charge, having memorized a list of stores with the best sales. Emma, who initially mocked the idea, apparently couldn’t turn down a killer deal and was currently lugging  even more shopping bags than Ruby. Mary Margaret and Belle were slightly more prudent, each carrying only one bag. Even after a coffee with an extra espresso shot, after six hours Belle was dragging. 

 

“Guys, I think I’m going to take a little break,” Belle said. 

 

Ruby, Mary Margaret, and Emma, immediately stopped and turned to stare at Belle, who was lagging behind. 

 

“Are you sure? Vicki’s might be having a $5 for $25 deal!” Ruby said excitedly. 

 

“I’m sure. Go on without me. Who do I have to impress anyway?” Belle said, giving the group a wry smile.

 

“If you say so... ” Emma said, already inching away towards the direction of the store. 

 

“I’ll meet up with you guys later, text me when you’re done in the madhouse that I’m sure Victoria’s Secret will be.”

 

“I’ll grab you one of the free tote bags if I can,” Mary Margaret whispered to her as the trio hurried off to the other end of the mall. 

 

Belle took her time ambling towards the mall exit. She breathed a sigh of relief as soon as she got outside, the chilled air feeling luxurious on her flushed skin. The mall was packed with shoppers looking for deals and Belle had been elbowed more than once in several of the crowded, hot stores. She decided to wander around the back parking lot of the mall, which wasn’t as packed as the front of the mall since it was primarily used for receiving store shipments. She was enjoying her solo walk when she heard someone call out,

 

“Haven’t you read enough fairy-tales to know that young girls shouldn’t walk alone at night?”

 

Adam. Belle could tell by the cadence it was his voice before she saw him sitting on the loading docks for the tractor trailer trucks. 

 

“It’s not nighttime, it’s dawn.” Belle said primly, rolling her eyes at him, ”Plus I don’t think there are any grandmother-eating Big Bad Wolves in Storybrooke.”

 

“Wolves can take many forms.”

 

He grinned at her as he hopped down from the dock and approached her. The back of the mall was deserted and his boots echoed against the concrete as he sidled up next to her. 

 

“You’re very dramatic this morning,” she said wryly. 

 

Adam shrugged and gestured at the single bag she was holding. 

 

“Did you get anything good?”

 

“Two sweaters and a wool skirt. Honestly I hope I don’t have to wear them for a while, I’m already dreading the dead of winter,” she replied, holding up the items in the early morning haze for him to see. The sky was beginning to lighten at the first sign of dawn, but the sun hadn’t yet peeked over the edge of the horizon. He hummed softly as he felt the fabric of the sweaters before Belle tucked them away in her bag once more. 

 

“I thought Black Friday shopping was about buying as much crap as possible. That doesn’t seem like a lot.”

 

“I needed a break, it was too crowded for my liking in there. I thought I’d go for a quick walk.”

 

“Well, seeing as you’re far too trusting of wolves and wolf-like people, I’ll feel better if I walk with you.”

 

“Are you calling me naive?” Belle accused, giving him a good-natured shove. He put his hands up in defense and smirked at her before she continued, “But sure, I’ll gladly take the company.”

 

They turned and continued walking in the direction Belle was headed before. The teens moved in silence for a while, and Belle couldn’t help but continuously glance at Adam out of the corner of her eye. He was handsome, his sharp features still noticeable even in the poor early-morning light. She was just about to break the silence when she noticed him digging around in his jacket for something. 

 

“Don’t even think about lighting one of those things,” she said pointedly, nodding towards the cigarette he had suddenly reached for. He had the sense to look slightly sheepish as he tucked the pack away. Belle noticed that he suddenly had a twitch in his hands, as if he wasn’t sure what to do with them. 

 

“You don’t have to believe me, but I’ve been trying to cut back you know.” Adam said, shoving his hands deeply into his pockets.

 

“Good.” Belle answered, “And I’m going to keep reminding you about the dangers of lung cancer until you quit completely.” 

 

“Great, my own personal PSA ad.” he said with an eye-roll. Belle stuck her tongue out at him as they continued on. 

 

“I’m going to guess that you weren’t at the mall to take advantage of clothing sales, so what are you doing here so early in the morning?” Belle asked, looking up at him as they walked shoulder to shoulder. 

 

Adam shrugged and made a noncommittal noise. When Belle continued to look at him, he sighed and stared up at the purple and pink sky. 

 

“I was meeting a friend. I had something for him, and this was the only time he could meet because he’s working all day.”

 

It was a general half-truth, Belle could tell. She could guess what the “something” was, and Ruby’s words from yesterday echoed in her head. It was true, she couldn’t ignore the fact that he participated in illegal activities. But then again, so did several of her friends. They didn’t do it often, but Ruby and Emma had smoked weed before, and all of them drank occasionally at a party. Adam was just more involved in it. It seemed hypocritical to nag him for dealing when three quarters of Storybrooke High were itching to buy. Plus it was just weed, Belle justified to herself, it’s legal in several states. Maybe the more she learned about it, the easier it would be to help him, just like with the cigarette smoking. She chewed her lip, wondering how he would react if she asked about his “business”. 

 

“So I finished that book,” Adam blurted after a stretch of silence from Belle. 

 

“Oh?” she said, surprised by his sudden switch. Belle could tell her was trying to change the subject, but she decided to go along with it.

 

“I was going to wait until I saw you in school on Monday but since you’re here... maybe we could talk about it now?”

 

“Sure,” she smiled, feeling more comfortable in this familiar realm of conversation. “What did you think of it?” 

 

“It was awful.’

 

“What?” Belle exclaimed, her blues widened in genuine shock. 

 

“Yeah, I couldn’t stand the narrator. That Holden kid sucked.” Adam said, “And J.D. Salinger is a shit writer. He uses “goddam” every other sentence.”  

 

Belle chuckled, “I thought that’s why you might like it.”

 

“Nope. I thought it sounded like an adult who thinks he knows how kids talk and act, but really has no idea. I couldn’t get into it, I’m sorry,” he said, shaking his head at the injustice of the book’s popularity. 

 

“That’s okay! You don’t have to like every book I recommend.” 

 

“I just kept waiting to like it, and then suddenly I was on the last page and it was over, and I realized I hated the whole thing. 

 

“You hated it but you finished it anyway?”

 

“Well, yeah. You asked me to read so we could talk about it. I wouldn’t go back on our deal.” 

 

It was sweet. When Adam had first suggested the idea of a reading list, Belle was too surprised to be curious as to why. He claimed it was in exchange for her answering any question he asked about herself, but Belle probably would have done that anyway. She never expected that he would actually read the books she gave him, but here they were discussing Catcher in the Rye at 6:30 am. 

 

“Well, you’re not going to like every book you read. It happens to me sometimes to,” she said to him, pausing for a moment when she realized they had walked around the whole mall back to the front. 

 

It was still quiet outside. The parking lot was full and the shoppers were still inside, scrambling for every last deal. Belle walked towards one of the benches that sat against the mall’s outer walls and plopped down. Adam followed her slowly and sat down beside her, folding his hands together and leaning forward, his elbows on his knees.

 

“So can I ask you something now?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“I only see your dad around,” he said. His face was passive but Belle guessed that he was choosing his words carefully. “I couldn’t stop myself from wondering where your mom is.” 

 

Belle looked straight ahead and chewed her lip. She knew this question was coming, and it wasn’t easy to articulate. Her mother was always on her mind, but especially so during the holiday season. Somehow this seemed like the right time to talk about her, seeing as it was her favorite time of year, but that didn’t make it easy. 

 

“She passed away. It was cancer.”

 

“I’m sorry for asking, Belle. You don’t have to talk about it-”

 

“No it’s okay. It’s been three years now. But I still miss her every day.”

 

“You guys were close?”

 

“Yes. My dad says I’m her mini-me. Mom always loved books, my whole childhood was spent reading with her and visiting the library. She was a librarian herself before she had me. She worked in a university library. Growing up I never needed to look anything up in an encyclopedia or online, because Mom almost always knew the answer. She was so smart. She was beautiful too, my dad looked at her like she lit up the whole world.” 

 

Belle could tell that she was beginning to ramble, but she couldn’t stop the words from pouring out of her mouth. It had been a long time since she’d talked about her mom to someone. Tears stung the back of her eyes but she continued anyway.

 

“She could always tell when my dad or I had a bad day. When we’d get home from work or school there’d she be with a pan of brownies and a book from the self. She’d sit us down and read a passage, and it would usually be about an orphan or a poor man, or a widow. She’d say, ‘People go through tough times. If they didn’t, their story wouldn’t be interesting, and we wouldn’t be reading it right now. They triumphed, and so will you.’ It sounds silly, but it always helped. There’s no one I’d rather be like than her.”

 

Belle glanced over at him, blinking away the tears in her eyes. He was studying her, his brow furrowed above his soft amber eyes. She broke away from his gaze when she felt his warm hand rest on her shoulder. 

 

“It sounds like she really loved you.”

 

“She did. I just wish I had more time with her.”

  
“I get it. It will probably always be hard to deal with,” he said, giving her shoulder a final squeeze before threading his hands together on his lap once more. “But at least you have memories of her. My mom left before I was a year old.”

 

“Oh.” Belle said softly, “I didn’t know. I’m sorry, that must be really hard.”

 

“It’s okay. I’d rather have no memories than bad ones.”

 

“What do you mean?” she sniffled. She wiped at her nose with sleeve, not caring how she looked in the moment, and tried to blink away her own tears. 

 

“It’s nothing,” he said quietly. He turned to her and reached up to cup her face. Belle leaned her head into his warm hand when she felt his thumb brush against her cheek to wipe away the tears. 

 

“I’m really sorry I brought this up”, he whispered. 

 

“I told you, it’s okay.” she responded, holding his gaze and leaning in even closer. He did the same, and she caught how his gaze shifted from her eyes to her lips. 

 

Suddenly a loud, chirping sound accompanied by insistent vibrating shattered the silence of the cool morning air. She and Adam sprang apart as Belle jumped five feet in the air at the sound. She quickly realized it was her phone ringing in her jacket pocket. She fumbled to answer it as Adam leaned heavily against his side of the bench, running a shaky hand through his long hair.   

 

“Hello?” 

 

Ruby’s muffled voice answered her on the other end of the line, something about how they were finished at the mall and they needed to get to Target before the 75% off sale ended. Belle placed her free hand over her pounding heart as she breathed in and out to calm herself. 

 

“Sure, I’ll meet you in J.C. Penny in 5 minutes. Okay, bye.” 

 

As she hung up, she glanced at Adam. He was already standing, and was attempting to casually brush imaginary dirt off his leather jacket while he waited for her to get off the phone.

 

“Well, I guess I need to go. Ruby is my ride and they’re about to leave the mall.” Belle said, hanging up her phone and cursing the damn thing as she put it back in her pocket. That was definitely a moment they’d just shared. It seemed like maybe her worries about one-sided feelings were unfounded. She glanced up at him and he cracked a half-smile before reaching a hand out to help her up. Her nerves still felt like frayed wires, and as she took his hand she swore she felt electricity crackle where their fingers met.    

 

"I'm sorry about that," she said, feeling the blood rush to her cheeks. She was a little unsure of what she was sorry for interrupting, but it felt like the right thing to say.  

 

“Don't worry about it. I’ll see you in school on Monday,” he said, letting go of her hand. They shared another lingering glance before he nodded silently and turned to leave. 

 

“Bye Adam.” Belle said to herself as she watched him walk away in the direction they’d walked before. She smoothed her hair and sucked in a last breath of refreshing morning air before heading back into the mall. It was definitely a moment, she decided as she wove her way through the crowds to find her friends, and she wasn’t going to let it be their only one. There was something there between them, and Belle was going to pursue it.   



	10. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

On the Monday after Thanksgiving, Gold made a rare appearance in Homeroom. Students were chattering about their extra long weekends as he silently weaved his way to the back of the classroom. In fact, he’d barely remembered that it was Thanksgiving at all. It’s not like his father was going to drag his ass out of bed to help cook anything, so Gold had treated the holiday like a random Thursday and Friday off of school. 

 

It was good for business. More free time allowed him to contact customers outside of Storybrooke High, like Ritchie who worked at the pretzel stand at the mall. He’d just finished counting the cash Ritchie had given him for his “fairy dust”, when he noticed Belle wandering around the corner of the mall parking lot. She’d looked as lovely as ever, her pale cheeks flushed with the cold and her light blue eyes sparkling in the early morning haze. He could have walked around that mall a thousand times and never tired of listening to her. Then he’d gone and stupidly asked about her mother. Watching her struggle to hold back her tears was agonizing. He wanted to wrap her up and hold her in his arms until the world stopped being so unfair. Without even consciously making the decision, he’d leaned in to kiss her. He wasn’t sure if it was a blessing or a curse that her phone had chosen that moment to ring.

 

There was no denying it anymore. He’d fallen for her and there was nothing he could do about it now. He cursed himself for being so weak. It didn’t matter how often he told himself not to pursue her when he was alone with his thoughts. Whenever they were together he couldn’t stop his body from acting on its own. But after their moment in the parking lot, it appeared these feelings weren’t as one-sided as he thought. Maybe, just maybe, if he did things right, he could turn this little spark into something great, instead of a burning dumpster fire like everything else in his life.

 

He was staring out the window from his seat in the back corner of the classroom when Emma Swan parked herself in the desk next to him. She leaned over towards him and tapped the desk with her knuckle before he turned his head to acknowledge her presence.

 

“Hey. I heard you were lurking around the mall on Friday. Belle said you kept her company when she was outside.”

“Lurking? Is that the word she used?” he asked, arching a brow. He kept his tone level, bordering on snide, as he looked at the blonde. A tiny part of his brain whispered that Belle wouldn’t use a word like that to describe him.She didn’t see him as a predator. At the same time, the rest of his brain yelled back ‘of course she would describe you like that, that’s how everyone else sees you’.

 

“No, that’s the word I used.” Emma answered, glaring back at Gold, “So?”

 

“Yes I was at the mall. Yes I talked to Belle. Why are you interrogating me, officer?”

 

Emma rolled her eyes, “Jesus, I’m not interrogating you, I just asked you a question.”

 

“Not very nicely.”

 

“You’re so touchy,” she muttered under breath. She brushed her long hair out of her face, and cocked her head as she studied him. “I just wanted to talk to you. Belle says that you and her are friends now, so I wanted to make an effort and come say hello.”

 

Gold rolled his eyes. “How kind of you.”

 

Emma paused, watching him closely with her dark blue eyes before continuing, “Just… be careful with Belle. She’s fragile right now and-”

 

“Ah so that’s why you really came over,” Gold interrupted, “To give me a warning about corrupting your friend.”

 

“That’s not-”

 

“I think Belle can look out for herself. I don’t think she’d be pleased to find out that you were fighting her battles for her. If you don’t know that, I don’t think you know her at all.”  

 

Emma’s face darkened.

 

“Do you really think you know her better than me, or Ruby, or Mary? I don’t think you understand female friendships. Growl at me all you want, it’s definitely not going to help your case.”

 

A few other students turned their heads in curiosity as Emma leaned forward in her desk to glare at Gold, causing the old frame to creak loudly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked in a low voice, baring his teeth in a threatening smile.

 

“It means, that if Belle’s friends don’t like you, you’re never going to get as close as you want.” she said quietly, a fake smile of her own plastered on her face.

 

Gold scoffed, “You have no idea what I want.”

 

“Yeah, okay.” Emma said, rolling her eyes as she stood up from the desk. She turned as if to walk away before pivoting and slamming her hands down on Gold’s desk. It was a testament to Gold’s practiced apathy that he didn’t jump out of his seat at the sound. She leaned forward and growled, “If I were you, I’d start being a little nicer. Belle is one of the nicest people in this school, and you’re not going to change that. Better start changing yourself if you wanna make this work.”

 

Gold kept his face passive as the blonde straightened and walked away. Inside he was fuming. Everything Emma said was true, and that made him seethe. He knew that he wasn’t right for Belle, he didn’t need to be reminded at every damn turn that he would ruin her if he got too close.

 

The bell rang signalling the end of Homeroom period, and Gold took his time getting up from his seat. When he walked out of the classroom, he looked left and saw Emma meeting up with Belle and Mary Margaret at the end of the hallway. Belle caught his eye and beamed, giving him a small wave. He cracked a smile and gave a nod in response, before his gaze shifted to Emma, who was glaring at him. She put her arm around Belle and the trio moved away down the hall. Gold let out a sigh, cursed his feelings and his heart once more, and then headed in the opposite direction.

 

* * *

 

 

The final three weeks of the semester flew by, and before Belle knew it she was wishing “Merry Christmas” to her friends and classmates, and heading home for a full week and a half off. Christmas in Storybrooke was always exciting. The whole town glowed with lights, and when a light layer of snow settled on Main Street, the little town looked like it came straight from a Christmas card.

 

Christmas Eve was spent with her dad, just the two of them. They made eggnog milkshakes and watched Christmas movies, and exchanged gifts to show how thankful they were for still having each other. Christmas Day was more hectic. Belle’s grandparents, aunt and uncle, and her cousin all came over to open gifts and share a meal. Her extended family always traveled for Thanksgiving, and they had their own turkey day traditions, but it was nice to have everyone together on Christmas. It was comforting to be surrounded by familiar people who loved her, and who never asked too many questions about her private life. Except for her cousin, that is.

 

Belle was currently sitting on the floor of her living room next to the Christmas tree, gazing into the warm fire that was crackling in the hearth next to her. She listened to the sounds of her family shouting over each other to tell stories and share memories, and let her mind wander during this rare moment of solitude. She couldn’t stop herself from wondering what Adam was doing during the holiday. She’d never asked what he did for Thanksgiving. Did he have traditions? She could tell that he wasn’t close with his family, since he almost never mentioned them to her, but surely they did something for Christmas. She hadn’t seen him much in the past couple of weeks, only at their after-school sessions. They both had mid-terms in all their classes to study for, and Belle also gave a lot of her free time to volunteering at the public library during their extra holiday events for the kids in town. This meant there was no opportune time to confront Adam about her feelings or their almost-kiss. The last time she’d seen him was several days ago, on their last day of class before break.

 

She was at her locker trying to shove the notebooks she wouldn’t need during break into the back, when Adam had come striding up to her with a rare giddy look on his face.

 

“Hey,” he said, lifting one arm up to lean against the locker next to her’s.

 

“Hi, what’s up Adam?” she asked, turning to him and smiling. It was rare that he approached her alone at school outside of tutoring. It was always exciting to have him talk to her like this, like they were just normal classmates without any stigmas attached.

 

“Well, I wanted to let you know,” he paused, looking down at his shoes for a moment. Belle caught the hint of nervousness on his face, as he took a deep breath and reached into his inside jacket pocket for a rolled up piece of paper. He met her gaze once more as he passed the paper to her.

 

“I passed my English midterm.”

 

Belle unrolled the test and saw a large red “B+” at the top.

 

“Oh Adam, that’s amazing!” she flung her arms around his neck and stood on her toes to hug him fully. She pulled back slightly to look him in the eyes but kept her arms around him, “You didn’t just pass, you did great!”

 

He smiled, and for once it was his face that flushed with color instead of hers. He let his hands rest lightly on her sides as he looked down at her.  

 

“I just wanted to say thank you,” he said seriously. “I honestly wouldn’t have passed without you. You really helped motivate me. And this isn’t some bullshit I’m saying just because we’re friends now. I really mean it.”

 

“You’re welcome, but I think you deserve most of the credit. You worked hard and it paid off!” Belle beamed.

 

They let the moment linger, and for a moment Belle swore she saw Adam glance at her lips again, the same tense but compassionate look crossing his features as the morning at the mall. But then he was separating from their embrace, leaving her to grasp the side of her open locker door just for something to do with her hands.

 

“Well, thank you again.” he said, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand, “I guess I’ll be seeing you around.”

 

Belle’s stomach twisted as she came to the realization that their tutoring sessions were at an end. No more quiet afternoons in the library, laughing at their own private jokes and arguing over literature. She shook her head quickly,  

 

“Let’s try to make it soon. Maybe we could hang out over break?” she suggested, hoping that her desperation didn’t seep through.

 

“Sure, we’ll try to make that happen,” he agreed, nodding slightly. His face was guarded though, and Belle could sense that he was feeling unsure again. He gave a little wave before turning and walking away.

 

* * *

 

 

Belle’s heart clenched at the memory. She found herself hoping they wouldn’t lose all the ground they’d covered. It finally seemed like things were blossoming between them, but now Belle didn’t feel as confident. Before she could dwell on it anymore, a high-pitched voice echoed down the hall.

 

“-lighten up, Mom, it was just a joke!”

 

Belle’s moment of solitude was interrupted by a rush of sequins and hairspray as her older cousin Lacey skidded into the room and plopped down beside her. Lacey was four years older than Belle and a junior at the University of Maine. She was home on break, and had brought all kinds of stories about all-night ragers, lumberjack men, and binge-drinking, that she whispered to Belle in private away from their parents’ ears. Lacey always had good advice. It seemed like every time Belle explained a situation to her, Lacey responded with an eye roll and an “Oh I’ve been there, girl”.

 

“My mom thinks that three glasses of wine is ‘too much, darling’. If only she knew what I got up to at college...” Lacey laughed, winking at Belle as she crossed her black-stocking-clad legs. She leaned back on her hands and studied Belle closely for a moment.  

 

“You look like you’ve been thinking about something. Care to share, sweet cousin of mine?”

 

Belle bit her lip, mulling over the idea of sharing her thoughts about Adam with Lacey. It would be nice to get a mature perspective on the situation. Then again, this was Lacey and Belle was pretty sure she was more mature at 16 than her older cousin was at 21. But Lacey was still older than her, and much more experienced, so maybe there would be a benefit to asking her for advice.

 

“Okay, I’ll tell you, but promise me that you won’t bring it up in front of our parents yet, I’m still figuring things out.”

 

“Ooo I’m intrigued now.” Lacey said, leaning forward and watching Belle with eerily similar blue eyes.

 

“Promise?”

 

“Yes, yes. I won’t say anything to the ‘rents. Cross my heart,” Lacey said, making a criss-cross shape over her chest.

 

“Okay. There’s this guy at school that I have feelings for, but I haven’t done anything about it yet.”

 

“That”s it? What’s stopping you? You broke up with that Gaston guy like two months ago!”

 

“That’s definitely not the reason I haven’t done anything,” Belle scoffed, “it’s… more complicated than that.”

 

Lacey waited, one brow arched, for Belle to explain herself. Belle found she had trouble meeting her cousin’s questioning eyes and stared into her lap instead.

 

“He’s… troubled. My friends keep telling me that this is a bad idea because he’s ‘not a good guy’, but I’ve spent a lot of time with him and I think he actually is good, underneath it all. He’s always sweet and funny to me, but I also know he gets into some bad stuff outside of school. Like weed and things like that…”

 

Lacey let out a low whistle as Belle trailed off, “My my, Belle, I didn’t think you had it in you! Look at you, falling for a bad boy, I’m so proud.”

 

Belle rolled her eyes. “I don’t think it’s something to be proud of, but I also don’t think it’s a reason _not_ to pursue him. People are always more than just ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Plus he’s really smart when he tries to be, and witty, and Lacey… he’s gorgeous,” she finished, her cheeks coloring at her last admission. Lacey only grinned at the girl talk.

 

“Well I think you’re right. If you have chemistry with this guy, it’s definitely worth pursuing! You’ll never know if you don’t try, and maybe things will work out for the better!”

 

“Thanks Lace, I agree,” Belle said, thankful that someone else seemed encouraging about her situation, “I’m definitely going to talk to him. We almost kissed and I’ve been dying to ask him about it, but we’ve both been so busy!  I just have to figure out how to do it now.”

 

“Nice, I’m proud of you, Belles.” Lacey said, reaching for Belle’s hand and giving it a squeeze. “So I gotta know, what’s this guy’s name?”

 

“Adam Gold.”

 

Lacey’s eyes widened in recognition of the name.

 

“Oh! I remember him!”

 

“You do?”

 

“Yeah, he was a freshman when I was a senior back at Storybrooke High. He was a cutie back in the day, if I remember right. He was young, so I never really talked to him, but I definitely knew who he was. Back then he was dating another freshman on the cheerleading team, Milah Roberts.”

 

Belle froze, the name triggering something in her brain. Her eyes grew at the realization.

 

“The girl who died in that car crash a few years ago?”

 

“Yes, her. You didn’t know that?”

“No I didn’t... “, Belle said, memories of newspaper headlines and gossiping students flooding her brain. How did she not realize that Adam had dated one of Storybrooke’s most tragic tales? “I remember the car crash, the whole town talked about it. A student hadn’t died in Storybrooke for years before that. But I didn’t know that she was dating Adam at the time.”

 

“I guess it makes sense that you don’t know much about the whole situation, you were still in eighth grade. Well, Milah and Adam were pretty hot and heavy as a couple, especially for being so young. A friend of mine on the cheer squad said he was like a lovesick puppy around her. Then in the spring they started getting in fights. I don’t know what they were about or anything, but there was tension over something for sure. One night I guess she was out with some guys from a few towns over, older guys, and this is the part you know-”

 

“They got into a car accident.” Belle finished for Lacey, “I remember it was really bad. There was a picture in the newspaper of the car smashed into a tree. Dad didn’t want me watching T.V.  for like a week because he was afraid I’d catch images of the body on local news. Two of the boys were really hurt, but only she didn’t make it, right?”

 

“That’s right. It was really tragic, she was only a freshman. Everyone at school could see how hard Gold took it. He was always kind of a loner, but he really started to isolate himself after that. Wouldn’t talk to the guidance counselor or go to the grief sessions or anything. Then he started hanging out with this kid in my grade named Zeke. Zeke was my weed guy back in the day,” Lacey half-smiled wistfully before continuing, “Then I left Storybrooke and I haven’t really thought of Gold since. If you said he’s into drugs now, I guess he must’ve taken over Zeke’s business when we graduated.”

 

Belle was quiet as she processed the information. Of course it made sense that Gold had dated before, she shouldn’t be shocked, he was a teenage boy after all. But she’d never seen him be affectionate with anyone in public since she’d been in school with him, let alone a girl. She never considered that he’d been in love before. Belle could hear her heart pounding in her ears as she thought of Adam hearing the news after the crash, tears running freely down his face, utterly destroyed by the loss of his first love.

 

“I can’t believe I didn’t know this about him,” Belle said quietly, “I mean, I get why he wouldn’t bring it up, but no one at school talks about it either. Maybe I’m an idiot for trying to go after him when he’s still mourning her.”

 

“Oh please, it was three years ago! That’s a lifetime in high school years,” Lacey said with a wave of her hand.

 

“That’s a little insensitive. If he was as in-love with her as you say, maybe he doesn’t want to date anyone else in town.”

 

“Listen, they may have felt like they were in love, but they were fourteen at the time! Take it from someone who had plenty of “first loves” back in the day. You’ll realize that there’s a difference between real love and hormonal infatuation. You should still talk to Adam about your feelings, he might just be waiting for you to make the first move.”

 

“I don’t know, Lace…”

“Everyone has some kind of trauma or baggage, and those who don’t are due for a nasty surprise pretty soon. I really don’t think Gold will be celibate for the rest of his life just because his first girlfriend died tragically. Don’t use this as an excuse not to be honest with him about how you feel.”

 

“I guess you’re right,” Belle said, feeling slightly more convinced. Letting this new information stop her from talking to Adam was definitely caused by her nerves. Now wasn’t the time to chicken out, not when they’d almost kissed. Belle could tell that she’d agonize over it forever if she never confronted him with her feelings.   

 

Suddenly, Moe’s voice interrupted from down the hall,

 

“Girls, come back into the kitchen, we’re cutting the pie!”

 

Lacey groaned dramatically as she stood from the floor, reaching a hand down to help Belle up. Belle smiled and took it,

 

“Thanks Lacey, for everything,” she said quietly.

 

“No problem,” her cousin responded, “And remember, don’t be afraid of your feelings, Belle.”

 

* * *

 

 

It was almost 9 o’clock at night, and everyone was sitting in the living room watching “It’s A Wonderful Life”, when Belle felt her phone buzz in her cardigan pocket. She looked down and was shocked to see that the message was from Adam.

 

Adam: _It’s snowing._

 

Belle bit her lip to hide her smile. It was a small gesture, but he was reaching out nonetheless.

 

Belle: _I didn’t even notice, but I can see it from the window now. Pretty!_

 

Adam: _I was going to wish you a Merry Christmas, but I guess I should’ve checked the forecast, I don’t think I’m wearing the proper coat for this weather._

 

Belle’s heart skipped a beat. He wasn’t just wishing her a Merry Christmas over text, was he?

 

Belle: _Are you here?_

 

Adam: _If by here, you mean outside your house, then yes. Do you have a minute?_

 

Belle excused herself from the couch where she was seated between Lacey and her grandfather, and scurried to the front hall. She quickly tossed on a pair of snow boots and her winter coat before slipping outside into the garage. She could see a silhouette through the side door of the garage and quietly opened the door, stepping out into the snow.

 

Adam was standing by the large crabapple tree in her front yard. As she padded over to him, her boots crunched against the accumulating snow on the ground. He’d been staring up at the dark sky, watching the falling snow, but when he heard her coming, he met her gaze with his signature crooked smile.

 

“Hi,” she said, coming to stand next to him under the tree. It didn’t provide much protection since it was bare, but she didn’t mind the feel of the soft flakes in her hair or on her cheeks.

 

“Hi”

 

“You came all the way over here in the snow to say Merry Christmas to me? We have technology for that you know.”

 

“I know. But it’s Christmas, and that’s the time of year when you’re supposed to be honest with people you… care about,” he said, looking at her meaningfully.

 

Belle tilted her head, “Honest? About what?”

 

Suddenly, he leaned forward and cut her off by placing his lips on hers. Belle let out a small squeak of surprise as his arms wrapped around her waist to pull her close. His lips were cold but not chapped, and he felt like a space heater against her body. Before she could react, Adam was pulling away. She stared, wide-eyed and breathless at him.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said, cheeks flushed from a combination of cold air and embarrassment, “It feels like we get caught up with words so often, I just wanted to-”

 

This time it was Belle who cut him off with a kiss. After a second of surprise on his part, he unfroze and returned the kiss. Belle parted her lips just slightly, giving him better access, and the kiss turned from tentative to frenzied. They pulled apart after a few minutes, both gasping for breath. Belle looked up at him, at his blown-open pupils, swollen lips, and flushed cheeks, and thought he was the most adorable thing she’d ever seen. She took one more deep breath. It was now or never.

 

“Adam, I like you.”

 

He laughed, “I think I ‘like’ you too.”

 

Belle shook her head slightly, “I mean I really like you. More than a friend, and more than a tutor.”

Adam pursed his lips and looked off in the distance for a moment, and she could tell that he was contemplating something. After a few seconds he caught her eye again and said, “So, do you want to see where this goes?”

 

“Yes,” she said, beaming at him, “I think I’d like that.”

 

He nodded. They didn’t really need to say anything more. He leaned in for a quick peck on the lips before pulling her against his chest. As he held her tight, she realized this was his way of saying goodbye for the night. A sudden wave of sadness washed over her at the thought of being apart so soon after they revealed their feelings. She returned his hug, burying her head under his chin. They would have plenty of time, she told herself, especially when school started again. As she snuggled against him, she glanced up with curious eyes,

 

“When people ask if we’re dating, what should I tell them?”

 

She felt Adam shrug, but he couldn’t hide his smile “Tell them yes.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It only took 10 chapters but I finally got those crazy kids to kiss! Thank you to everyone who has reviewed or liked this story so far, your feedback means a lot. Now we get to the fun part!


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